wongedhan
Member
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2014
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Indonesian
- Home Country
- Indonesia
- Current Location
- Indonesia
could anyone correct my essay? it is a 500 words essay about myself and "How do you see yourself as youth and student to help shaping the sustainable world of tomorrow"
I am not a native speaker. Correction in grammatical, spelling, comma usage error will be much appreciated. Thank you all
My name is Andrew. I grew up in a small town in East Kalimantan Province called Balikpapan. The population there is quite small, so it became a very tight community where everyone knew everyone. My father works at an oil and gas company. He talked about his works all the time, which mean I learn about the importance of energy at a very young age. I became very interested in energy, especially the renewable and sustainable energy. I want to have a world class energy company one day. To pursue my dream, I chose to go to one of the best universities in the country, ITB. I am convinced that electricity is the energy of the future, because of that I chose to major in electrical power engineering.
Now, I am a third year student in ITB. I am involved in a lot of extracurricular activities such as, staff in Professional Division (Keprofesian) at Electrical Engineering Student Organization, staff in Welfare (Kesra) division at ITB Riau Students Association (UKMR), and many more. I know that in order improve my self it is not enough just to study in class, I have to have leadership skill, social skill, and other soft skills that I cannot learn in class.
In campus, there are a lot of talks about this nation and the world’s future energy. As we know, the fossil fuel is now still widely used as the main energy source in the world, mainly because it is cheaper than its environmentally friendly competitor, the renewable energy. But, it is now become more and more apparent that in the long term, the renewable energy will prevail. It is because the fossil based energy reserved is declining and the technology in renewable energy is advancing.
The transition from fossil based energy to its more sustainable and cleaner competitor, the renewable energy cannot be done over night, but it has to start immediately. Experts on the field said that to ensure that we have sustainable energy in the future we have to conserve, divercify, and intensify energy. As a student and youth me and my friends all over the world can help this transition toward the better future. To start, we can socialize the importance of energy conservation and also promote the future of renewable energy to raise the people awareness of this issue at least to the community where we live. Students have to think globally and act locally. If students all over the world are doing this, the impact will be massive. Secondly, we can take action our self in helping the community by providing them with clean and renewable energy source. Electrical Engineering Student Organization at ITB has initiated a program called PALAPA which built energy independent villages that take advantage of the energy provided by natural resources. Over the past 5 years, PALAPA has been successfully implemented at two locations in Indonesia. We also can help by advancing the technology. We can help research the most effective and efficient energy management in our country or even do research on renewable energy technology.
I am not a native speaker. Correction in grammatical, spelling, comma usage error will be much appreciated. Thank you all
My name is Andrew. I grew up in a small town in East Kalimantan Province called Balikpapan. The population there is quite small, so it became a very tight community where everyone knew everyone. My father works at an oil and gas company. He talked about his works all the time, which mean I learn about the importance of energy at a very young age. I became very interested in energy, especially the renewable and sustainable energy. I want to have a world class energy company one day. To pursue my dream, I chose to go to one of the best universities in the country, ITB. I am convinced that electricity is the energy of the future, because of that I chose to major in electrical power engineering.
Now, I am a third year student in ITB. I am involved in a lot of extracurricular activities such as, staff in Professional Division (Keprofesian) at Electrical Engineering Student Organization, staff in Welfare (Kesra) division at ITB Riau Students Association (UKMR), and many more. I know that in order improve my self it is not enough just to study in class, I have to have leadership skill, social skill, and other soft skills that I cannot learn in class.
In campus, there are a lot of talks about this nation and the world’s future energy. As we know, the fossil fuel is now still widely used as the main energy source in the world, mainly because it is cheaper than its environmentally friendly competitor, the renewable energy. But, it is now become more and more apparent that in the long term, the renewable energy will prevail. It is because the fossil based energy reserved is declining and the technology in renewable energy is advancing.
The transition from fossil based energy to its more sustainable and cleaner competitor, the renewable energy cannot be done over night, but it has to start immediately. Experts on the field said that to ensure that we have sustainable energy in the future we have to conserve, divercify, and intensify energy. As a student and youth me and my friends all over the world can help this transition toward the better future. To start, we can socialize the importance of energy conservation and also promote the future of renewable energy to raise the people awareness of this issue at least to the community where we live. Students have to think globally and act locally. If students all over the world are doing this, the impact will be massive. Secondly, we can take action our self in helping the community by providing them with clean and renewable energy source. Electrical Engineering Student Organization at ITB has initiated a program called PALAPA which built energy independent villages that take advantage of the energy provided by natural resources. Over the past 5 years, PALAPA has been successfully implemented at two locations in Indonesia. We also can help by advancing the technology. We can help research the most effective and efficient energy management in our country or even do research on renewable energy technology.