My IELTS writing task 2

[arsarath1]

Question :
Some people say that E- books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree.


With the advent of technology, methods of usage of materials which is used daily changed. For instance, people can achive their books by way of E-books whenever they want. Besides they can reach up to date information rapidly. Reaching up to date information may cause a knowledge consumption. In my opinion, E-books and modern technology help us to reach a knowledge by way of rapidly and without any effort.

To embark on,there are multiple reasons why modern getting new is very popular. First of all,many students carry their books in their laptop or tablet as an E-book format against they physically carry it in their schoolbag. Moreover,they can reach their books whenever they want and share with class fellow.Secondly, people can access ongoing news by their phone or computers before the newspaper. Furthermore, reaching the information with one click or one touch attract to people. They can get a news against they go to the shop to buy a traditional newspaper. Consequently, if human being can reach an information with easy method, they adopt themself rapidly.

However, reaching information rapidly is not always good because hot news should always be corrected by officals. For instance, fake news may send out rapidly than original news. As a result of this, the fake news might help to reveal the chaos on the grounds that source of original news is not be able to verify.

To sum up, even if modern technology change our lifestyle evidently, these changes will carry our ages to another step. In my opinion, even if there are some side effects, it is a big revolution for our age.


Note : it is my first IELTS writing.
Count of word: 270

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Question :
Some people say that E- books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the advent of technology, [Do you mean digital technology? Hammers, spears, pottery, wheels, and writing are all technology.] methods of using materials which are used daily changed. For instance, people can access books by way of E-books whenever they want. And we [You're a person, too.] can find up-to-date information rapidly. Finding up-to-date information may cause a knowledge consumption. [I don't understand "a knowledge consumption." Rephrase it.] In my opinion, E-books and modern technology help us to gain knowledge [STRIKE]by way of[/STRIKE] rapidly and without any effort.

To embark on _______ [To embark on what?], there are multiple reasons why modern getting new is very popular. [I don't understand "modern getting new." Modern ways of getting news?] First of all, [space after commas] many students carry their books in their laptops or tablets as an E-book format instead of carrying print books in their schoolbags. Moreover, [space after commas] they can access their books whenever they want and share them with classmates. [space after commas] [We can share hard copy, too.] Secondly, people can access ongoing news with their phone or computers before the newspaper ________. [Before the newspaper what? Comes out? Is available? Is delivered?] Furthermore, getting the information with one click or one touch is attractive to people. They can get the news without going to the shop to buy a traditional newspaper. Consequently, if human beings can get information more easily, they adapt rapidly.

However, reaching information rapidly is not always good, because hot news should always be corrected by officals. [What officials? Why? Should we always believe officials?] For instance, fake news may go out more rapidly than real news. As a result of this, the fake news might help to reveal the chaos on the grounds that source of original news is not be able to verify. [Fake news is called fake because it's not true. How does false information help? Doesn't it just create more chaos? What is "original news"?]

To sum up, even if modern technology changes our lifestyle [STRIKE]evidently[/STRIKE], these changes will carry our ages to another step. [I don't understand "carry our ages to another step." Lead to a new era?] In my opinion, even if there are some side effects, it is a big revolution for our age.

Note: I is my first IELTS writing.
Count of word: 270

You haven't quite answered the question: Will electronic news totally replace print news? How much do you agree or disagree?

 

[Tarheel]

Question:
Some people say that E- books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and magazines. To what extent ....


Note: it is my first IELTS writing.
Word count: 270

I can't do what Charlie does. My attention span is too short.
;-)

Please don't space before punctuation marks.

 

[arsarath1]

Charlie Bernstein,
I am grateful for your reply. I will analyze your amendments at weekend. If you were an IELTS instructor, how many points would you give me from over nine points?

 

[Tarheel]

Charlie Bernstein,
I am grateful for your reply. I will analyze your amendments at weekend. If you were an IELTS instructor, how many points would you give me from over nine points?

I would say:

Thank you for your help. I will read all your comments and suggestions and learn from them. Thank you very very much!

I wouldn't know how to answer your question. However, you clearly have some things to work on. Get cracking!

P.S. You have problems with word choice and punctuation, so work on those things.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Charlie Bernstein,
I am grateful for your reply. I will analyze your changes this weekend. If you were an IELTS instructor, how many points would you give me out of a possible nine points?

I'm not a teacher, and I don't believe in grades.

Just do your best. As we say in the US, what's the worst that could happen?