My first crazy story.

[beachboy]

This is supposed to be my first crazy story, in which I'm using a number of idioms and phrasal verbs to check whether my understanding is right.


My girlfriend had just dumped me. Dropped me out like a hot potato. Out of nothing. I don’t know what brought us apart, or what worked against our relationship. Turns out, she had other fish to fry. All hell broke loose. I was on the rebound, eating my heart out, feeling rather at a loose end. I didn’t know which way to turn. I had to snap out of it, though. I needed to get to know people. I knew it was a long shot, but maybe I could find another girl to replace my ex. As I was at a crossroads, I took a notion to go to a nightclub.

So I smartened myself up and went off. As soon as I got to the nightclub, I came to feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t obvious, but I think people picked up on my discomfort. Granted, I’m not much for crowded places. I stopped short of leaving the place. But I sticked around and tried to find a way to let myself go. Then something crossed over me. I saw this beautiful girl. Tall and blond. I have a thing about blondes. They are my downfall. I checked her out. I had a feeling I had seen her somewhere else before. I stared at her, but in keeping with what I expected, she cut me dead. And suddenly it hit me. A man moved closer to her and kissed her. I knew him. He’s my brother. She was his new girlfriend. I had seen them together a couple of days before, but I have a bad memory for faces. That was a close thing!

 

[emsr2d2]

This is supposed to be my first crazy story, in which I'm using a number of idioms and phrasal verbs to check whether my understanding is right.


My girlfriend had just dumped me. Dropped me [STRIKE]out[/STRIKE] like a hot potato. Out of [STRIKE]nothing[/STRIKE] nowhere. I don’t know what [STRIKE]brought[/STRIKE] pulled/tore us apart, or what worked against our relationship. Turns out, she had other fish to fry. All hell broke loose. I was on the rebound, eating my heart out, feeling rather at a loose end. I didn’t know which way to turn. I had to snap out of it, though. I needed to get to know people. I knew it was a long shot, but maybe I could find another girl to replace my ex. As I was at a crossroads, I [STRIKE]took a[/STRIKE] got the notion to go to a nightclub.

So I smartened myself up and went [STRIKE]off[/STRIKE] out. As soon as I got to the nightclub, I [STRIKE]came[/STRIKE] started to feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t obvious, but I think people picked up on my discomfort. Granted, I’m not much for crowded places. I stopped short of leaving. [STRIKE]the place.[/STRIKE] But I [STRIKE]sticked[/STRIKE] stuck around and tried [STRIKE]to find a way[/STRIKE] to let myself go. Then something crossed over me. I saw this beautiful girl. Tall and blonde. I have a thing about blondes. They are my downfall. I checked her out. I had a feeling I had seen her somewhere [STRIKE]else[/STRIKE] before. I stared at her, but [STRIKE]in keeping with what[/STRIKE] as I expected, she cut me dead. And suddenly it hit me. A man moved closer to her and kissed her. I knew him. He’s my brother. She was his new girlfriend. I had seen them together a couple of days before, but I have a bad memory for faces. That was a close [STRIKE]thing[/STRIKE] call!

See my corrections above. I don't know what you mean by the blue underlined parts.

I know you said it was a "crazy story" but:
1) It's not particularly crazy as far as what actually happens in the story goes.
2) It's very clear that it's been written solely as an exercise in using idioms and phrasal verbs. Consequently, it does not make for good reading.

 

[Skrej]

. I was on the rebound, eating my heart out

We don't normally use this idiom in first person. I've only heard it used in the 'be jealous' sense, and as an imperative, although dictionaries suggest it can be used third person to mean 'feel sad or grieve'.

Eat your heart out.
She's been eating her heart out.

Putting it in first person makes it sound like you're eating out of depression, in my opinion. That would certainly still fit the context, but is different from the idiom.

 

[beachboy]

See my corrections above. I don't know what you mean by the blue underlined parts.

I know you said it was a "crazy story" but:
1) It's not particularly crazy as far as what actually happens in the story goes.
2) It's very clear that it's been written solely as an exercise in using idioms and phrasal verbs. Consequently, it does not make for good reading.

I thought "Something crossed over me" could mean "Something changed in me".

 

[emsr2d2]

I thought "Something crossed over me" could mean "Something changed in me".

It doesn't mean that to me. It doesn't mean anything to me.