Mommy and I's bed, me and Mommy's bed

[curiousmarcus]

Child: This is my crib. I sleep here.

Dad:

1. No, you don't. You always sleep on Mommy and I's bed now.
2. No, you don't. You always sleep on me and mommy's bed now.

Which is more natural?

 

[GoesStation]

Number 1 is not likely though I wouldn't be astonished to hear it. Number 2 is natural to large numbers of AmE speakers.

Grammarians undoubtedly offer a solution to this problem, but I always stumble when I need to say something like that. Nothing seems both natural and "correct".

 

[Boris Tatarenko]

Can we say "you always sleep on mommy's and my bed" or "you always sleep on my and mommy's bed"?

 

[Rover_KE]

Yes, Boris — those are acceptable alternatives for the truly dreadful title versions.

I have to endure it on a regular basis as a family friend thinks there's nothing wrong with I's. It makes me squirm every time she says it.

It even surfaced in an episode of the TV series Elementary, when the scriptwriter gave Holmes a line to say including the awful sentence '...it wasn't part of Watson and I's remit...'

To be fair to the actor, Jonny Lee Miller, he appeared to be aware that the punctilious Sherlock Holmes would never utter such a dreadful solecism and—clearly embarrassed about having to say it—mumbled the line uncharacteristically in an otherwise perfectly articulated performance. Unfortunately, it was plain for all to see in the subtitle (AE closed caption).

 

[Barb_D]

If you have two "other" people:
Pat and Cameron's bed - the bed they share
Pat's and Cameron's beds - each has their own bed

But with one other person and yourself, they all sound awful. "Mommy's and my" is as close as you can come, but according to the "rules" that suggests Mommy has her own bed.

All of us (I think) struggle with this, so you are in good company!

 

[Raymott]

"You always sleep with Mommy and me" might be a way out. But it doesn't generalise to all other verbs, which might be your subtextual question.

 

[curiousmarcus]

"You always sleep with Mommy and me" might be a way out. But it doesn't generalise to all other verbs, which might be your subtextual question.

In a different thread (post number 7 and 8) I was advised to avoid using "sleep with" because of sexual connotations. I assume this time it doesn't apply here, right?

 

[Barb_D]

When talking to a young child who, in fact, sleeps in your bed sometimes, you can use that without fear.

 

[curiousmarcus]

When talking to a young child who, in fact, sleeps in your bed sometimes, you can use that without fear.

How about when talking about your young child? Should "sleep with" be avoided?

How about when the young child talks about sleeping with you? Does it need to be corrected?

 

[Rover_KE]

No and no.

 

[Matthew Wai]

Unless someone is a pedophile IMO.

 

[Barb_D]

No, Matthew.

"Sleeping with" is a term used to refer to a consensual sexual relationship. A child molester would never be said to be "sleeping with" a child. There really is no room for confusion when talking about young children.

 

[konungursvia]

Number 1 is not likely though I wouldn't be astonished to hear it. Number 2 is natural to large numbers of AmE speakers.

Grammarians undoubtedly offer a solution to this problem, but I always stumble when I need to say something like that. Nothing seems both natural and "correct".

Apparently Aussies use # 1.

 

[Raymott]

Apparently Aussies use # 1.

We do? That's the first I've heard of it. Do you have some examples?
Perhaps some do, but it doesn't sound typical.

 

[konungursvia]

Well it was a post of yours, Raymott, from a few years ago that I am attempting to recall within my old neurons. something like "Mommy and I's noun" being the normal colloquial structure there?

 

[Raymott]

It certainly doesn't sound like me, kon. In any case, it's not true.

PS: We spell it 'Mummy', but I don't think you'll find that either.
I do remember saying that, in Australia, "with Mummy and I" is often used wrongly for "with Mummy and me", but I think that happens everywhere.

 

[Matthew Wai]

"Sleeping with" is a term used to refer to a consensual sexual relationship. A child molester would never be said to be "sleeping with" a child.

Is it impossible for a pedophile to have a consensual sexual relationship with a child?
In poor countries, it could be possible if one pays for it.