"The number of men employed increased 11.1 percent between 1984 and 1994; women's employment was down (dropped) 12.6 percent in the same period."
Men's employment rose (from 'rise'), it didn't raise.
Does it sound OK if the original is revised as follows:
- Men's employment rose in 1994, up 11.1 percent from 1984, women's employment was down 12.6 percent in the same period.(I am not sure "in the same period" fits the sentence)
If you have a question about the English language and would like to ask one of our many English teachers and language experts, please click the button below to let us know: