Maxim took a deep breath and trudged closer

[alpacinou]

Is this correct and natural?

Maxim took a deep breath and trudged closer to the battle zone. He squatted down and covered his head as the staccato chattering of machine-guns got louder. Taking cover behind a neck-high concrete wall riddled with bullet holes, he occasionally rose to see what was happening. Tracer bullets pierced the dark, lighting the night like shooting stars. A thunder punctured the night as the bullets stretched the air. For a moment, Maxim thought about how hos journey as a journalist had brought him to this ugly feast of human flesh and blood.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Is this correct and natural?

Maxim took a deep breath and trudged closer to the battle [STRIKE]zone[/STRIKE]. He squatted down and covered his head as the staccato chattering of machine-guns got louder. Taking cover behind a neck-high concrete wall riddled with bullet holes, he occasionally rose to see what was happening. Tracer bullets pierced the dark, lighting the night like shooting stars. A thunder punctured the night as the bullets stretched the air. For a moment, Maxim thought about how his journey as a journalist had brought him to this ugly feast of human flesh and blood.

Vivid!

Your "stretched" is an odd choice.

And "journey as a journalist" is a little sing-songy. How about "journey as a reporter"?

 

[Tdol]

Vivid!

Your "stretched" is an odd choice.

An odd one, but I liked it.