Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
Would you please correct the mistakes in this short story?
"I'll speak as loud as I want, "Maria bawled. She and Kevin were returning home after a nigh out. They should have taken a taxi, but it was difficult to get it when everyone was ordering and catching them, and they didn't want to wait. She had taken off her red high-heels and staggered barefoot, which embarrassed Kevin. A drunk woman shouting in the street was an awful picture. He thought Maria looked like a prostitute. A red shiny top, two sizes too small and a very short skirt would always look pathetic on a forty-year-old woman. Since he paid for her breast implants about five years ago, Maria was obsessed to show them everywhere, as if they were a badge of honour. He regretted splashing out on the two pieces of silicone, but he couldn't resist her nagging. All her friends had got them, and she should too, no matter the cost.
Kevin blushed. Passers-by were pointing at them. Someone was sniggering. A girl was filming Maria on her smartphone. A group of alcoholics on a bench were following her with their bloodshot stares, shaking heads. If a colleague spotted them, Kevin would be the butt of jokes in the office on Monday morning. How could he have married her of all nice women he had dated in the past? How could he have imprisoned himself with a woman who was neither attractive nor particularly intelligent. The only thing Maria could be proud of was her self-confidence, which made her insensitive to what others thought of her. She didn't give a damn if anyone felt offended by her words or behaviour. Kevin wished he had at least a crumb of her confidence, but that would always remain an unfulfilled wish.
Kevin watched her stumble and almost fall down, and his heart pounded with anxiety. If it had not been for a light post she was now hugging, Maria would be lying on the dirty asphalt and puking. That had happened before, and he felt he could die on the spot with shame. An urge to run away intruded on his thoughts. He had had enough of her tantrums. Hearing her quarrel with that five meters long post, disgusted him. How was he going to lie with her in the same bed this evening, breathing in her sweat, alcohol and stale perfume? He started to stride and, when he heard her calling his name, he ran. He had to hurry and pack his few personal belongings and save himself before it was too late.
THE END
"I'll speak as loud as I want, "Maria bawled. She and Kevin were returning home after a nigh out. They should have taken a taxi, but it was difficult to get it when everyone was ordering and catching them, and they didn't want to wait. She had taken off her red high-heels and staggered barefoot, which embarrassed Kevin. A drunk woman shouting in the street was an awful picture. He thought Maria looked like a prostitute. A red shiny top, two sizes too small and a very short skirt would always look pathetic on a forty-year-old woman. Since he paid for her breast implants about five years ago, Maria was obsessed to show them everywhere, as if they were a badge of honour. He regretted splashing out on the two pieces of silicone, but he couldn't resist her nagging. All her friends had got them, and she should too, no matter the cost.
Kevin blushed. Passers-by were pointing at them. Someone was sniggering. A girl was filming Maria on her smartphone. A group of alcoholics on a bench were following her with their bloodshot stares, shaking heads. If a colleague spotted them, Kevin would be the butt of jokes in the office on Monday morning. How could he have married her of all nice women he had dated in the past? How could he have imprisoned himself with a woman who was neither attractive nor particularly intelligent. The only thing Maria could be proud of was her self-confidence, which made her insensitive to what others thought of her. She didn't give a damn if anyone felt offended by her words or behaviour. Kevin wished he had at least a crumb of her confidence, but that would always remain an unfulfilled wish.
Kevin watched her stumble and almost fall down, and his heart pounded with anxiety. If it had not been for a light post she was now hugging, Maria would be lying on the dirty asphalt and puking. That had happened before, and he felt he could die on the spot with shame. An urge to run away intruded on his thoughts. He had had enough of her tantrums. Hearing her quarrel with that five meters long post, disgusted him. How was he going to lie with her in the same bed this evening, breathing in her sweat, alcohol and stale perfume? He started to stride and, when he heard her calling his name, he ran. He had to hurry and pack his few personal belongings and save himself before it was too late.
THE END
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