elvis93
Junior Member
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2010
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Albanian
- Home Country
- Albania
- Current Location
- Italy
Good afternoon guys!
Would you mind checking my story please?
Could you also tell me if it is adequate for the upper-intermediate level(FCE)?
This is a task: Write a love story that begin with the following sentence:
“It was only a small mistake but it changed my life forever.”
Write your story in 250-300 words.
It was only a small mistake but it changed my life forever. It is remarkable to notice how the events, that seem tiny and insignificant, may modify the whole existence of a man, as a wave that changes the ebb and flow of the sea or a drop of water that gives birth to a seed, turning it into a plant.
I was a businessman then. I used to take for granted all tthe things that weren't work.
On 15 November 1998 , I saw a lonely girl in a park, sitting on a bench and staring at the blossom of tulips.
She had huge greem irises and a delicate white skin with tiny pores. The blush of her cheeks showed out in her snowy complexion as a damask rose in a field of white liliums.
She seemed an Hamadryad, coming out of a great fir tree.
In the very moment her emerald eyes came into contact with my sight, I felt paralyzed, being unable to move, to think, to be.
That spell was broken by my sudden ringing tone. I answered and my boss told me I had forgotten to sign an important document.
I came back to my office, then I signed that piece of paper.
After finishing that phlegmatic work, I immediately rushed to the park, but the girl wasn't there anymore.
On the spur of the moment, I felt I had no choice except that waiting for her.
Every day I sit at the same bench, she had sit on that cursed day, and wait.
Waiting for her to come, waiting for the blossom of the tulips, waiting for the rebirth of the lost beauty of the town, which seemed to have vanished with her disappearance.
My eyes saw the auroral dawns, the crepuscolar twilights, the blood-red colour of the sunset, the vehemence of the rain but nothing of her astonishing beauty.
It's 50 years I've been waiting for her and now, as I lay dying, I feel sorry and so terribly hollow but I have no regrets despite the fact that, the only treasures I have left, are the clear memory of her smile and a faded tulip.
Would you mind checking my story please?
Could you also tell me if it is adequate for the upper-intermediate level(FCE)?
This is a task: Write a love story that begin with the following sentence:
“It was only a small mistake but it changed my life forever.”
Write your story in 250-300 words.
It was only a small mistake but it changed my life forever. It is remarkable to notice how the events, that seem tiny and insignificant, may modify the whole existence of a man, as a wave that changes the ebb and flow of the sea or a drop of water that gives birth to a seed, turning it into a plant.
I was a businessman then. I used to take for granted all tthe things that weren't work.
On 15 November 1998 , I saw a lonely girl in a park, sitting on a bench and staring at the blossom of tulips.
She had huge greem irises and a delicate white skin with tiny pores. The blush of her cheeks showed out in her snowy complexion as a damask rose in a field of white liliums.
She seemed an Hamadryad, coming out of a great fir tree.
In the very moment her emerald eyes came into contact with my sight, I felt paralyzed, being unable to move, to think, to be.
That spell was broken by my sudden ringing tone. I answered and my boss told me I had forgotten to sign an important document.
I came back to my office, then I signed that piece of paper.
After finishing that phlegmatic work, I immediately rushed to the park, but the girl wasn't there anymore.
On the spur of the moment, I felt I had no choice except that waiting for her.
Every day I sit at the same bench, she had sit on that cursed day, and wait.
Waiting for her to come, waiting for the blossom of the tulips, waiting for the rebirth of the lost beauty of the town, which seemed to have vanished with her disappearance.
My eyes saw the auroral dawns, the crepuscolar twilights, the blood-red colour of the sunset, the vehemence of the rain but nothing of her astonishing beauty.
It's 50 years I've been waiting for her and now, as I lay dying, I feel sorry and so terribly hollow but I have no regrets despite the fact that, the only treasures I have left, are the clear memory of her smile and a faded tulip.