Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal.

[alpacinou]

Is this correct and natural?

Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal. He kicked down all those fears and doubts like he was trying to push more dirty clothes inside a washing a machine than it could take. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were gonna get worse before they got even worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

More likely than kicked back:

- swallowed
- choked back
- choke down

Gonna is natural in informal speech but not in writing. Use going to. The only exceptions are in texting and song writing.

 

[emsr2d2]

"kicked down" certainly doesn't work in this context. You can kick down a wall but not fears and doubts.

 

[alpacinou]

So, does "choke down" work instead of kick down?

Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal. He choked down all those fears and doubts like he was trying to push more dirty clothes inside a washing a machine than it could take. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were going to get worse before they got even worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.

 

[emsr2d2]

Well, yes and no. On its own, it kind of works but it doesn't fit with the idea of forcing too many clothes into a washing machine. Generally, in the UK, washing machines are loaded via a door at the front so anything with "down" sounds odd, because you force clothes into those machines. However, a lot of American washing machines load via a door/hatch on the top, so it might work there.

 

[alpacinou]

Well, yes and no. On its own, it kind of works but it doesn't fit with the idea of forcing too many clothes into a washing machine. Generally, in the UK, washing machines are loaded via a door at the front so anything with "down" sounds odd, because you force clothes into those machines. However, a lot of American washing machines load via a door/hatch on the top, so it might work there.

What verb do you suggest I use that would work in that sentence?

 

[emsr2d2]

I'm struggling to think of anything but that's mainly because I'm finding it hard to connect doing anything to one's fears and doubts to forcing clothes into a washing machine. I don't think the analogy works.

 

[alpacinou]

I'm struggling to think of anything but that's mainly because I'm finding it hard to connect doing anything to one's fears and doubts to forcing clothes into a washing machine. I don't think the analogy works.

So I will omit that washing machine part.

Is this better?

Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal. He bottled up all those fears and doubts, wondering when the bottle was going to shatter. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were going to get worse before they got even worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.

 

[Tarheel]

Is this correct and natural?

Jimmy carried on as if everything was normal. He pushed down all those fears and doubts like he was trying to stuff more dirty clothes inside a washing [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] machine than it could take. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were going to get worse before they got still worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.

My suggestions.

 

[alpacinou]

Thanks. I also want to see if this is okay:

Jimmy carried on as if everything were normal. He bottled up all those fears and doubts, wondering when the bottle was going to shatter. A part of him actually believed that beyond all that suffering and misery, a decent life, a happy one, awaited him. A more rational part knew that things were going to get worse before they got even worse. The despair and fear he tried to push down kept crawling back up preventing him from focusing on his job.