alpacinou
Key Member
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2019
- Member Type
- Interested in Language
- Native Language
- Persian
- Home Country
- Iran
- Current Location
- Iran
Is this correct and natural?
Jack needed to go to the bathroom. There was a toilet with glass walls in the corner of the yard. He was standing by the toilet, relieving himself when he heard a zap and then the glass shattered, splinters of it raining down on him. He pulled his pants up, leapt out of the glass cubicle and pressed himself against a brick wall. The person shooting from outside kept unleashing a barrage of bullets, sending shards of glass and concrete and brick flying into the air. A sudden quiet fell over. Jack slowly peeked his head above the wall and saw a big man with a rifle. He lowered his head and heard the clatter of metal as the shooter changed the magazine. Then he heard the bolt handle being pulled and bullets started flying in the air again. Fear seized every muscle inside Jack's body and he found himself unable to move, listening to the cacophony of broken glass hitting the floor, bullets ricocheting off the brick wall, and brass shell casings falling on the asphalt outside. Thinking about his daughter, Jack summoned every ounce of strength he could and started moving. He squatted down, lay in prone position and started crawling away from the wall. His elbows were stung with shards of broken glass as kept dragging himself out of danger. The shooting stopped again. Jack heard the crunch of footsteps on broken glass, tilted his head up and saw two men cradling massive rifles.
I specifically need some words for the sounds that are produced as a result of glass being broken and its shards hitting the floor.
Jack needed to go to the bathroom. There was a toilet with glass walls in the corner of the yard. He was standing by the toilet, relieving himself when he heard a zap and then the glass shattered, splinters of it raining down on him. He pulled his pants up, leapt out of the glass cubicle and pressed himself against a brick wall. The person shooting from outside kept unleashing a barrage of bullets, sending shards of glass and concrete and brick flying into the air. A sudden quiet fell over. Jack slowly peeked his head above the wall and saw a big man with a rifle. He lowered his head and heard the clatter of metal as the shooter changed the magazine. Then he heard the bolt handle being pulled and bullets started flying in the air again. Fear seized every muscle inside Jack's body and he found himself unable to move, listening to the cacophony of broken glass hitting the floor, bullets ricocheting off the brick wall, and brass shell casings falling on the asphalt outside. Thinking about his daughter, Jack summoned every ounce of strength he could and started moving. He squatted down, lay in prone position and started crawling away from the wall. His elbows were stung with shards of broken glass as kept dragging himself out of danger. The shooting stopped again. Jack heard the crunch of footsteps on broken glass, tilted his head up and saw two men cradling massive rifles.
I specifically need some words for the sounds that are produced as a result of glass being broken and its shards hitting the floor.