Is this sentence correct? How could I improve it?

[royakhanoom]

I believe through good education people may achieve their goals and I will be honored to have an impact in this process.

 

[Rover_KE]

Welcome to the forums.

Is this your own sentence? If so, what is your purpose in writing it?

 

[englishhobby]

I believe through good education people may achieve their goals and I will be honored to have an impact (in) ON this process.

I think it's overly formal. (Are you preparing your speech for a meeting with the Queen? )

 

[MikeNewYork]

I think it's overly formal. (Are you preparing your speech for a meeting with the Queen? )

Why do you think it is "overly" formal when you have no context?

 

[englishhobby]

Why do you think it is "overly" formal when you have no context?

Because there are words which tend to be used in formal speech, sometimes they are marked as formal in their dictionary definitions. E.g.

Academic Writing:Words:Hints for formal words

Was I wrong in thinking that the word impact and the expression to be honoured were very formal and made the whole sentence sound very formal? Or was I just wrong about the degree of formality (when I used "overly")?

 

[emsr2d2]

Because there are words which tend to be used in formal speech, sometimes they are marked as formal in their dictionary definitions. E.g.

Academic Writing:Words:Hints for formal words

Was I wrong in thinking that the word impact and the expression to be honoured were very formal and made the whole sentence sound very formal? Or was I just wrong about the degree of formality (when I used "overly")?

I agree to a certain degree about "to be honoured" but I don't think we can class the word "impact" as formal.

 

[MikeNewYork]

Because there are words which tend to be used in formal speech, sometimes they are marked as formal in their dictionary definitions. E.g.

Academic Writing:Words:Hints for formal words

Was I wrong in thinking that the word impact and the expression to be honoured were very formal and made the whole sentence sound very formal? Or was I just wrong about the degree of formality (when I used "overly")?

The sentence could be part of a statement accepting some kind of appointment in the field of education. The circumstances may have called for formality to some degree.

 

[Rover_KE]

I agree. If the OP would reply to my post #2 we might be spared the necessity for any further guesswork.

 

[MikeNewYork]

I agree. If the OP would reply to my post #2 we might be spared the necessity for any further guesswork.

I agree.