[Essay] Is this look like good motivtional paragraph ?

[netgeek]

This one is mean to write in a application for volunteer opportunity.

From my childhood I have passion for serve others in my neighborhood by any mean I can.But this task give me a opportunity to serve me entire world so I'm quite eager to grab this opportunity.

Can you give me your valuable suggestion?

 

[emsr2d2]

This [STRIKE]one[/STRIKE] is [STRIKE]mean[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]to write[/STRIKE] intended to be written in an application for a volunteer opportunity.

From my childhood I have had a passion [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] to serve others in my neighborhood by any means I can. [STRIKE]But[/STRIKE] This task gives me an opportunity to serve [STRIKE]me[/STRIKE] the entire world so I'm quite eager to grab this opportunity.

Can you give me your valuable suggestion?

Please see my amendments above. Concentrate on your use of articles, particularly when to use "a" and "an".

 

[netgeek]

Thank you very much for your valuable advices