[Essay] Is there any mistake in this writing?

[rodgers white]

Hi everyone, is there any mistake in this writing? This is just a writing practice , not an assignment or anything like that. I'm grateful for any contribution. Thank you so much.

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The idea of creating micro-bots was easy in comparison to creating a redesign of living cells. To do the former, you just had to make very small pieces and assemble them, which at a microscopic level was not easy, but, it was simple. The latter, on the other hand, meant decoding DNA and then recoding it to do something more efficiently, a gargantuan task. Rui had not even discovered DNA yet. So, Rui chose the easier task of creating micro-bots first; though he did, of course, continue to study the mechanics of biology. The study of biology helped him to come up with ideas for the functions of the micro-bots, so there was no risk of wasted time if biology itself became a dead end. Rui recorded all his work on crystal disks so that Yang could review his work and perhaps offer suggestions. Yang commented. “Rui, you and your work amaze me. I am a scientist and an inventor, but I doubt I could have come up with these ideas, let alone worked out how to do them”. Rui laughed. “Of course you wouldn’t, necessity is the mother of invention, and unlike me, you don’t need to reduce your brain size”.

 

[teechar]

Hi everyone, is there any mistake in this writing? This is just writing practice, not an assignment or anything like that. I'm grateful for any contribution. Thank you so much.

The idea of creating micro-bots was easy in comparison to creating a redesign of [how about “redesigning”?] living cells. To do the former, you just had to make very small pieces [of what?] and assemble them, which at a microscopic level was not easy, but it was simple. The latter, on the other hand, meant decoding DNA and then recoding it to do something more efficiently, a gargantuan task. Rui had not even discovered DNA yet [What does that mean?]. So, Rui [Consider using “he” instead of repeating the name] chose the easier task of creating micro-bots first; though he did, of course, continue to study the mechanics of biology. The study of biology helped him to come up with ideas for the functions of the micro-bots, so there was no risk of [STRIKE] wasted [/STRIKE] wasting time if biology itself became a dead end. Rui recorded all his work on crystal disks so that Yang could review his work and perhaps offer suggestions. Yang commented: “Rui, you and your work amaze me. I am a scientist and an inventor, but I doubt I could have come up with these ideas, let alone worked out how to [STRIKE] do [/STRIKE] apply/use them”. Rui laughed. “Of course you wouldn’t; necessity is the mother of invention, and unlike me, you don’t need to reduce your brain size”[What does that mean?].

.

 

[rodgers white]

Thank you so much for your help, teechar. You are right. It is better to use "redesigning" in the first sentence. Also, it is just a fiction story, so everything comes out of imagination. Yang is a scientist who invented Rui, a robot with a big head. Unexpectedly, Rui evolved itself so quickly that he actually could build micro-robots by making very small pieces of functional parts and assembling them.

 

[Tarheel]

Microbots

Try:

Creating microbots was easy compared to redesigning living cells.

 

[emsr2d2]

Your opening question should read "Are there any mistakes in this piece of writing?"

 

[teechar]

Thank you so much for your help, teechar. You are right. It is better to use "redesigning" in the first sentence. Also, it is just a [STRIKE]fiction[/STRIKE] fictitious story, so everything [STRIKE]comes[/STRIKE] came out of my imagination. Yang is a scientist who invented Rui, a robot with a big head. Unexpectedly, Rui evolved itself so quickly that he actually could build micro-robots by making very small pieces of functional parts and assembling them.

OK. I understand now.

 

[Tarheel]

Whenever you are tempted to use the word "actually" lie down for a while until that feeling goes away.

 

[rodgers white]

Sorry, Tarheel，what do you want to say? The sentence is elusive to me.

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Microbots

My mistake. I thought you had used the word "actually" in your piece about microbots. (It's still good advice.)

(Whenever I see either "former" or "latter" in a piece of writing I always have to reread what I just read.)

(I hope you get over the habit of thanking people in advance.)

I have my own idea for a title for this thread.
:up:

 

[Tarheel]

Microbots

Sorry, Tarheel，what do you want to say? The sentence is elusive to me.

The word "actually" is one of the most overused words and usually can simply be deleted with no loss of anything.

(You gave that post a Like. Thanks!)
:-D