Is it correct to say.....?

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Polyester

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Apr 29, 2014
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Chinese
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Recently, I go to cinema to watch the excited film. I go to buy a ticket in the counter.
And then, when the movie finished, I left the cinema and dial my phone to my friend.
Hello, Peter.
P: Hello, Polyester, what's the hell on earth?
me: I just finished the movie in the cinema. It's excited. I love it. I want to recommend to you.
P:Hey, friend. Don't do that. You knew I lost my job three days ago. I haven't enough money to spending on it. I also not interesting in it.
I spent my whole time to find a job. If you are my best friend, you should advice me to find a job.
me: OKOK. I try to help you and find you next week.


My question is "Is my story correct and grammatical ?:shock:
 
Recently, I go to cinema to watch the excited film. I go to buy a ticket in the counter.
And then, when the movie finished, I left the cinema and dial my phone to my friend.
Hello, Peter.
P: Hello, Polyester, what's the hell on earth?
me: I just finished the movie in the cinema. It's excited. I love it. I want to recommend to you.
P:Hey, friend. Don't do that. You knew I lost my job three days ago. I haven't enough money to spending on it. I also not interesting in it.
I spent my whole time to find a job. If you are my best friend, you should advice me to find a job.
me: OKOK. I try to help you and find you next week.

Polyester
The parts underlined need correction. Please look into it.
 
Recently, I go to cinema to watch the excited film.
I think something is missing between 'to' and 'cinema', but I am not a teacher.
 
Not a teacher

'Recently, I go to cinema to watch the excited film.' can be changed to 'Recently I watched an exciting film.'

It's unnatural that you put 'I go to buy a ticket in the counter.' before 'Recently, I go to cinema to watch the excited film.' I suggest the following instead: 'Having watched an exciting film, I phoned/called my friend.'

me: Hello, Peter.
P: Hello, Polyester. What's up?
me: I just finished a movie. [I assume Peter does not know which movie you are referring to.] It's exciting. I love it. I want to recommend it to you. ['Recommend' is a transitive verb. It has to be followed by a noun.]
P: Hey, friend. Don't do that. You know I lost my job three days ago. I haven't enough money to spend on movies/entertainment. I also am not interested in it. [Alternatively, you can say 'I haven't enough money to spend on movies, not to mention I'm not interested in it.'] My time should be spent seeking a job. If you are my best friend, you should advise me to find a job.
me: OKOK. I will try to help you and I will get back to you [This sounds more natural.] next week.

My suggestions for you:
Work on tenses (future tense and past tense) and articles. Distinguish between adjectives and adverbs. After these, you can check out some colloquial expressions/slangs (informal expressions that are appropriate for spoken conversations) and learn more about descriptive writing.
 
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'Cinema' and 'buy a ticket' have been omitted from the above suggestions, so I think Peter might not know that the film was watched at the cinema instead of home, but I am not a teacher.
 
I moved this thread here from the 'Ask a Teacher' forum as I considered this to be a better place for it.

You will have read the following posting guideline:

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Are you helping me or not?
 
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You can be sure than erroneous posts from non-teachers would not escape the hawk eyes of the teachers.

Polyester, I think you would learn better if you have a go at the corrections yourself.
 
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