[General] Introduction

[ambitious-girl]

Is the following a good introduction for an essay with the topic " Do mobile phones have advantages or disadvantages"?

"The invention of the mobile phone has undoubtedly revolutionized the way in which people communicate and has influenced every aspect of our lives.
While some people believe that this technological innovation has done more harm than good, I would argue that their drawbacks are more than outweighed by obvious benefits."

 

[Raymott]

Yes, it's acceptable as an introduction. The topic is a bit bizarre though. Almost everything has "advantages or disadvantages." The question seems to be implying that mobile phones can have only one or the other.

 

[ambitious-girl]

Yes, it's acceptable as an introduction. The topic is a bit bizarre though. Almost everything has "advantages or disadvantages." The question seems to be implying that mobile phones can have only one or the other.

Thanks Raymott.
I wrote the topic by myself. I know it is not an standard one, especially in IELTS or other exams. I just wanted to quickly mention that what the topic was about.

 

[teechar]

While some people believe that [STRIKE]this technological innovation has[/STRIKE] mobiles have done more harm than good, I would argue that their drawbacks are more than outweighed by obvious benefits."

I would make the above amendment.

 

[ambitious-girl]

Thanks Teechar.
How about the following? (If I want to use 'technological innovation'?)

While some people believe that this technological innovation has done more harm than good, I would argue that mobile phones' drawbacks are more than outweighed by obvious benefits."

 

[teechar]

Thanks Teechar.
How about the following [STRIKE]? (I[/STRIKE] if I want to use 'technological innovation'?

While some people believe that this technological innovation has done more harm than good, I would argue that the drawbacks of mobile phones [STRIKE]drawbacks[/STRIKE] are more than outweighed by (their) obvious benefits."

.