[Essay] IELTS WRITING TASK 2

[alice.ngan]

TOPIC: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.


Nowadays, in some nations, it is common for young people to take a break known as a gap year to experience before entering university. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this trend and they will be discussed in this essay.
On the one hand, a break between high school and university can be greatly beneficial to students. Firstly, they can have some relaxation after trying hard in high school years and prepare thoroughly for university studies. Secondly, some people tend to go traveling or take part in social activities which help develop their social skills, as well as broaden their mind and knowledge. Others decide to find a job to gain experience that may come in useful in student life later. Furthermore, during this time, they can fund out what job suits them best so that it is easier to make a career choice.
On the other hand, there are some certain drawbacks for students taking a year off. First of all, some may have difficulty readapting to the academic environment and are also likely to fall behind with their peers. It can take some time for them to get back to student life. Additionally, some people decide to drop out of university to pursue their current careers as they can make a living earlier than their contemporaries without spending years at university. However, giving up university can prevent job promotions because it is extremely important to earn a degree in this day and age.
In conclusion, despite some disadvantages of taking a year break between finishing high school and starting university studies, a year off can provide young graduates with great benefits and experiences.


Note: i would appreciate if you can give me the band score for my essay.

 

[emsr2d2]

TOPIC: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Nowadays, in some [STRIKE]nations[/STRIKE] countries, it is common for young people to take a break, known as a gap year, [STRIKE]to experience[/STRIKE] before [STRIKE]entering[/STRIKE] going to/starting university. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this trend. [STRIKE]and they will be discussed in this essay.[/STRIKE]

On the one hand, a break between high school and university can be [STRIKE]greatly[/STRIKE] very beneficial to students. [STRIKE]Firstly,[/STRIKE] They can have some [STRIKE]relaxation[/STRIKE] time to relax after [STRIKE]trying[/STRIKE] working hard [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at high school [STRIKE]years[/STRIKE] and preparing [STRIKE]thoroughly[/STRIKE] for university. [strike]studies.[/strike] [STRIKE]Secondly,[/STRIKE] Some people [STRIKE]tend to[/STRIKE] go traveling or take part in [STRIKE]social[/STRIKE] activities [STRIKE]which[/STRIKE] that help develop their social skills no comma here [STRIKE]as well as[/STRIKE] and broaden their mind. [STRIKE]and knowledge.[/STRIKE] Others [STRIKE]decide to[/STRIKE] find a job to gain experience that [STRIKE]may[/STRIKE] might come in useful in student life. [STRIKE]later.[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]Furthermore,[/STRIKE] Also, during this time, they can find out what job suits them best, so that it is easier to make a career choice.

On the other hand, there are some [STRIKE]certain[/STRIKE] drawbacks for students taking a year off. [STRIKE]First of all,[/STRIKE] Some [STRIKE]may[/STRIKE] might have difficulty readapting to the academic environment and are also likely to fall behind [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] their peers. It can take some time for them to get back to student life. [STRIKE]Additionally,[/STRIKE] Some people decide to drop out of university to pursue [STRIKE]their current careers[/STRIKE] a career as they can [STRIKE]make a living[/STRIKE] earn money earlier than their contemporaries without spending years at university. However, [STRIKE]giving up[/STRIKE] dropping out of university can prevent [STRIKE]job promotions[/STRIKE] people excelling at work because it is extremely important to earn a degree in this day and age.

In conclusion, [STRIKE]despite[/STRIKE] although there are some disadvantages [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] to taking a year's break between [STRIKE]finishing[/STRIKE] high school and [STRIKE]starting[/STRIKE] university [STRIKE]studies[/STRIKE], a year off can provide young [STRIKE]graduates[/STRIKE] people with great benefits and experiences.


Note: I would appreciate it if you [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] would give me the band score for my essay.

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Please see my changes above. There is some confusion though. Talking about a gap year shouldn't really cover people who decide to drop out of university. When they take their gap year, they haven't even started university so they can't drop out.