[Essay] Ielts writing task 1 (graph) book 5 test 1 . PRECISE MY MISTAKES

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Neha George

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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The line graph reveals the total percentage of elderly people of 3 distinct nations, Japan, Sweden and USA from 1940 to 2040. Overall, the chart trend demonstrates an upward and downward unsustainable ratio of old aged people in following years.

Firstly, evidently, the graph data depict the life expectancy of senior citizens in three nations are dramatically increasing during the period. First, the most noticeable proportion is from Japan, where this expectancy is presaged to rise considerably in the future.

However, by comparing, in 1940, the percentage of age 65 or over the people had been just under 10 % in the USA then in Sweden (7%), while the less number of old people lived in that year in Japan (about 5%). Moreover, The figures for Likelihood of older natives in 1990 was the same for the USA and Sweden, at about 14 percent, and decreased even further in Japan, around 3.5 percent. However, in future the life expectancy is predicted to rise in every country, which will be 23% and 25 percent in 2030 in Sweden and USA respectively. The most astonishing figure is from Japan, where older people will live long in the future (27 percent in2040) as compared to other 2 countries.

In short, the chart statistic reckons the futures perditions of senior residents of Japan will be drastically grow. Although other 2 countries will be identical.
 
In the title of this thread, you have said "Please precise my mistakes", in a previous title you said "Please percise the mistakes". Neither is correct. The spelling of "precise" is correct in one and incorrect in the other but it's not the word you need. Did you mean "Please correct my mistakes"?
 
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