I walked by a bakery store and saw a woman needed assistance because she does speak Chinese at all.

[Silverobama]

Please help me with a natural version of the following passage:

I walked by a bakery store and saw a woman needed assistance because she doesn't speak Chinese at all. She wanted to order a birthday cake with the inscription “Congrats, Peggy” on the top of it to wish a daughter of her friend’s graduation ceremony. She also had to wait an hour and a half to get her cake. During the process, I made some mistakes while interpreting but all in all it was a good job.

 

[emsr2d2]

You're still struggling with the concept of walking by/past somewhere. The way you've written it, you had already gone past the bakery (it was behind you, you weren't next to it) when you saw a woman who needed help. That suggests that the woman who needed help wasn't at the bakery.

 

[Silverobama]

You're still struggling with the concept of walking by/past somewhere. The way you've written it, you had already gone past the bakery (it was behind you, you weren't next to it) when you saw a woman who needed help. That suggests that the woman who needed help wasn't at the bakery.

The bakery is in a shopping mall. I am sorry I can't take a photo for you. The bakery is just located in the mall where people walk here and there. I know what you mean by "walking by", this means that I didn't walk into the bakery, but since the bakery is in the mall and even without a door, people who walk in the mall can see it and by things there.

 

[Silverobama]

I really don't know what verb I can use here. I "walk in", but they don't have a door. The woman was standing at the checkout stand and talking to the waitress in English but the waitress didn't speak English at all. The checkout stand is under the BA sign. I finally found a picture of it online.

 

[tedmc]

How about "I was walking pass a bakery store when I saw a women customer at the counter who couldn't speak Chinese and needed assistance with communication with the attendant"?

 

[emsr2d2]

"I was walking pass a bakery store when I saw a women customer at the counter who couldn't speak Chinese and needed assistance with communication with the attendant"?

I've underlined the errors in your post, @tedmc

 

[Silverobama]

I've underlined the errors in your post, @tedmc

Doesn't "Walk past" mean "walk by"?

Could you please help me with the paragraph?

 

[tedmc]

I've underlined the errors in your post, @tedmc

walk past
woman
What about the counter? Casher/checkout counter?

 

[emsr2d2]

What about the counter?

I underlined that originally because there were two spaces between the words instead of just one. However, that is no longer the case so ignore that underline.

Casher/checkout counter?

Neither. I think you meant "cashier" ("casher" doesn't exist). We'd just say "checkout" or "counter" but not the two together.

 

[emsr2d2]

Doesn't "Walk past" mean "walk by"?

Could you please help me with the paragraph?

The problem is with the choice of tense. If you say "I walked past a bakery ...", then the action has been completed. You're beyond the bakery. You can't see anything in it. You can't enter without doubling back on yourself and returning to the bakery.

As tedmc said, use "I was walking past a bakery ...". That works because the action has not yet been completed. It means you were in the process of walking past the bakery. While you're still walking past, you can look in the window or go through the entrance (like one of your previous posts, it doesn't matter if there's a physical door or not).

You need to open with "As I was walking past a bakery, I saw a customer who needed help" or "I was walking past a bakery when I saw a customer who needed help". (There's no need to mention the fact that the customer is female.)

 

[Silverobama]

As tedmc said, use "I was walking past a bakery ...". That works because the action has not yet been completed. It means you were in the process of walking past the bakery. While you're still walking past, you can look in the window or go through the entrance (like one of your previous posts, it doesn't matter if there's a physical door or not).

You need to open with "As I was walking past a bakery, I saw a customer who needed help" or "I was walking past a bakery when I saw a customer who needed help". (There's no need to mention the fact that the customer is female.)

Thanks a lot for your detailed explanation, emsr2d2.

I still need your help with the rest of the paragraph.

As I was walking past a bakery, I saw a customer who needed help because she doesn't speak Chinese at all. She wanted to order a birthday cake with the inscription “Congrats, Peggy” on the top of it to wish a daughter of her friend’s graduation ceremony. She also had to wait an hour and a half to get her cake. During the process, I made some mistakes while interpreting but all in all it was a good job.

 

[tedmc]

I would write:

She wanted to order a birthday cake for her friend's daughter, Peggy, for her graduation with a congratulatory message written on it

...I made some mistakes acting as an interpreter... ("interpreting" could be ambiguous as it could also mean "explaining something")...

 

[emsr2d2]

As I was walking past a bakery, I saw a customer who needed help because she doesn't speak Chinese at all. She wanted to order a birthday cake with the inscription “Congrats, Peggy” on the top of it to wish a daughter of her friend’s graduation ceremony. She also had to wait an hour and a half to get her cake. During the process, I made some mistakes while interpreting but all in all it was a good job.

Here's what I would write:

I was walking past a bakery when I noticed a customer inside who clearly needed help. I went in and discovered [that the problem was due to the fact] that she couldn't speak any Chinese. She wanted to order a graduation [celebration] cake for a friend's daughter, with "Congrats, Peggy" written/iced on it. I explained that to the member of staff, who told me it would take an hour and a half to prepare the cake. [The customer was happy to wait.]
I made a few mistakes while I was translating but, overall, I did a good job.

 

[tedmc]

I thought a bakery refers to a place where bread/cakes are made and not necessarily where they are sold.

 

[emsr2d2]

I thought a bakery refers to a place where bread/cakes are made and not necessarily where they are sold.

In the UK, it can be either. Some people might say "I was walking past the baker's", and some might use "bread shop". I work near a shop called "Flour Pot Bakery" - they bake nothing on the premises. They just sell bread, sandwiches, bagels, muffins etc. The same goes for "Gail's Bakery" near where one of my friends lives. The bread they both sell is delivered to them by van each morning.
You're right, though, that the place where bread and bread-based goods are prepared and baked is a bakery.