I need someone to proofread my cover letter

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I am a recent graduate student and I am applying for a job as a nurse. This is my cover letter. Please can someone proofread this and tell me if it sounds ok? thanks!!


As a person who went to nursing school after developing a love for helping others while on mission trips in non industrialized countries, I developed a passion for serving those in underserved areas. I admire National Rehabilitation Hospital's commitment to provide the very best rehabilitative care to a diverse group of patients. My interest to join your staff increased when I met with some of the NRH staff during the nursing spectrum career fair in Maryland. I will be graduating with my bachelors in nursing May 2010. I also have a bachelors in science in pre-physical therapy. My educational background has effectively prepared me to begin as a graduate nurse in a rehabilitation hospital.

As my resumé indicates, I have significant experience working in hospitals and medical centers. I completed a summer nurse externship at Howard University Hospital the summer of 2009. While working in the surgical intensive care unit, I learned to provide diligent accurate care under highly stressed situations. With guidance from my preceptor, I performed such nursing duties as IV therapy, blood transfusions, and catheter insertion. This experience has allowed me to increase my nursing skills while also providing a broader base of medical knowledge.

In addition to my nursing skills, I will bring my leadership skills to National Rehabilitation Hospital. I’ve assumed leadership positions as a youth art instructor in various non-profit organizations in Washington, DC. Last school year, I worked at Words, Beats, and Life, an organization providing artistic instruction to DC youth. I developed weekly lesson plans and provided educational activities appropriate to the developmental age of my students. Most recently, I have served my leadership and management preceptorship in the gastrointestinal unit at Kaiser Permanente. With guidance from the nurse manager, I gave a presentation to the staff nurses on nursing responsibilities in delegation.

I believe my excellent communication skills and ability to work well with others will be an asset to your company. I would welcome the opportunity to interview with you and look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
 
Great cover letter. A few minor suggestions. Good Luck!

As a person who went to nursing school after developing a love for helping others while on mission trips in non industrialized countries, I developed a passion for serving those in [STRIKE]underserved[/STRIKE]underpriveleged areas. I admire National Rehabilitation Hospital's commitment to provide the very best rehabilitative care to a diverse group of patients. My interest to join your staff increased when I met with some of the NRH staff during the Nursing Spectrum Career Fair in Maryland (caps). I will be graduating with my Bachelors Degree in Nursing (caps) May 2010. I also have a Bachelors in Science in Pre-physical Therapy. My educational background has effectively prepared me to begin as a graduate nurse in a rehabilitation hospital.

As my resumé indicates, I have significant experience working in hospitals and medical centers. I completed a summer nurse externship at Howard University Hospital the summer of 2009. While working in the surgical intensive care unit, I learned to provide diligent, accurate care under highly stressed (or "stressful"?) situations. With guidance from my preceptor, I performed such nursing duties as IV therapy, blood transfusions, and catheter insertion. This experience has allowed me to increase my nursing skills while also providing a broader base of medical knowledge.

In addition to my nursing skills, I will bring my leadership skills to the National Rehabilitation Hospital. I’ve assumed leadership positions as a youth art instructor in various non-profit organizations in Washington, DC. Last school year, I worked at Words, Beats, and Life (italicize), an organization providing artistic instruction to DC youth. I developed weekly lesson plans and provided educational activities appropriate [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE]for the developmental age of my students. Most recently, I have served my leadership and management preceptorship in the gastrointestinal unit at Kaiser Permanente. With guidance from the nurse manager, I gave a presentation to the staff nurses on nursing responsibilities in delegation.

I believe my excellent communication skills and ability to work well with others will be an asset to your company. I would welcome the opportunity to interview with you and look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you for your time and consideration.
 
Sorry. I misread "underserved" as "undeserved" which is why I suggested underpriveleged.
 
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