I dun goofed. Better off myself

[Glizdka]

I wanted to practise a few words, phrases, and constructions that I'm not sure about by writing this short paragraph. Could you please check my writing?

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April thirtieth, 1945. Adolf Hitler kills himself as the Allied and Soviet troops are systematically wrapping up the last strugglers on German soil. What could possibly be going through his head, except for the bullet of course? Was it "I pulled Germany into yet another lost war"? Maybe "They've discovered the death camps along with other attrocities". Perhaps he was afraid he was going to become a muppet-puppet in a mock trial. Was he terrified thinking of the tortures he would be subjected to by the Allies, or worse, the Soviets? Or maybe it was simply something along the lines of "I dun goofed. Better off myself". We will never know; the spattered pieces oh his brain were going to be burned immediatelly along with the rest of the carcass so as to prevent anybody from recognizing him, but at least some of the thoughts above could've been partly responsible for his decision to commit suicide.

 

[Tarheel]

Well, you got the date wrong. (You were off by ten years.) Also, I doubt he thought in terms of I done goofed.. It was a much bigger calamity than that. The word goofed wouldn't fit.

 

[Glizdka]

#TFW your finger slips by ten years.

 

[abaka]

No one about to kill themselves ever says "I done goofed".

What people will think, say, and put in writing in these circumstances is the classic English obscenity: I f---ed up. Except that they will spell it out.

Tarheel might object that too is too weak for the calamity. Maybe. But what do you think the FU stands for in SNAFU and FUBAR, those two classic G.I. coinages of WW2?

It's probably better not to abbreviate "could have". It jars with the rest of it.

 

[Tarheel]

SNAFU - situation normal, all f****d up.

FUBAR - f****d up beyond all recognition

:-D