hollow I love you

[alpacinou]

Hello.

Have used "hollow" correctly and naturally in this sentence I have written?

I'm tired of all your hollow I love yous. I know you don't give a damn about me.

 

[GoesStation]

Hello.

Have used "hollow" correctly and naturally in this sentence I have written?

I'm tired of all your hollow I love yous. I know you don't give a damn about me.

You've made a serious punctuation or typesetting error. Fix that (in a new post) and you'll have a good sentence.

By the way, when part of a sentence is in italics and you want to emphasize another part, you set the new part in plain text. Resume the italics after the new emphasized part is complete.

 

[alpacinou]

You've made a serious punctuation or typesetting error. Fix that (in a new post) and you'll have a good sentence.

By the way, when part of a sentence is in italics and you want to emphasize another part, you set the new part in plain text. Resume the italics after the new emphasized part is complete.

I'm tired of all your hollow I love you's. I know you don't give a damn about me.

 

[GoesStation]

I'm tired of all your hollow I love you's. I know you don't give a damn about me.

No. Try again — and note that (despite what you might read here and there on the web) an apostrophe-s is never correct as a way to pluralize a word.

 

[alpacinou]

No. Try again — and note that (despite what you might read here and there on the web) an apostrophe-s is never correct as a way to pluralize a word.

I'm tired of all your hollow I love yous; I know you do not give a damn about me.

Is the period after you the punctuation problem?

 

[GoesStation]

I'm tired of all your hollow I love yous; I know you do not give a damn about me.

Is the period after you the punctuation problem?

Still wrong. You have to indicate which part is quoted text. It's quite tricky here because you're pluralizing a whole string of words. Here's how to do it with typesetting;

"I'm tired of all your hollow I love yous." Note that the final s, which isn't part of the quoted text, is not italicized.

 

[alpacinou]

Note that the final s, which isn't part of the quoted text, is not italicized.

Good point.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Al, here are three writers whose writing fits your style:

- Elmore Leonard: Crime, romance, and a sense of humor. He wrote crime novels and westerns. Read the crime novels. His westerns came first, and he hadn't hit his stride yet.

- Ed McBain: Crime, romance, and a sense of humor. Read his 87th Precinct novels. That's his great stuff.

- Raymond Carver: Short stories of working-class people struggling with problems that sometimes seem small but are always pivotal.​

With all three, pay attention to:

- how much information they can get into a few lines.

- how natural the voices are.

- what they think you need to know. (For example, Carver doesn't describe anyone's eyes or hair, but you can always picture the characters clearly.)​