he was becoming increasingly shy

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alpacinou

Key Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2019
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
Is this good?

He grew increasingly shy. His room became his sanctuary. The sickly painted walls of the room gave him an odd comfort. In his room, the street, the city, the school, the world seemed far away, at a safe distance.
 
How can I make it better?
 
Why don't you try to improve it? You know, from Tarheel's response, that it's grammatically correct. That's a start. Now start playing around with it yourself.
 
How much time does he spend in that room? Does he order food to be delivered rather than eat out?
 
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