[General] ... feelings consume me...

[rodgers white]

For me, imagination in writing is just like the filter in a fish tank, and words and paintings are a perfect combination to provide a snapshot into our minds and thoughts. Would you please proofread my sentences and share what you imagine when you look at the painting? Any help would be appreciated. Here are the words and the painting.

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Burning in secret, my feelings consume me. And how sad to think that: even the smoke of my fire will end as a summer cloud.

 

[tedmc]

What will end as a summer cloud?

 

[rodgers white]

What will end as a summer cloud?

Oops, my mistake. Thank you for reminding me. The sentences should be:

Burning in secret, my feelings consume me. And how sad to think that: even the smoke of my fire will end as a summer cloud.

 

[Tarheel]

It's imaginative.

 

[rodgers white]

It's imaginative.

Thank you. The inspiration actually comes from one cigarette in an ashtray, glowing on and sending up a long thread of such quiet grey.

The “fire” represents the passion / strength of feeling lovers have for each other. They recognise that their feelings are a result of their "fire". Without their “fire” the “smoke” of love / desire would not have risen and remained.

 

[rodgers white]

For me, what makes this painting so immediately eye-catching is the gentleman dressed all in white standing out in the sea of aquamarine.

Edouard Marnet painted this scene in the summer of 1874, when he spent a good deal of time with his young friend and collegue Claude Monet.

That spring, Monet participated what came to know as the first impressionist exhibition. Manet declined to exhibit with the newly adopted impressionists. But this canvas shows how taking he was with the styles the impressionists were developing - the black colors, the scratchy blush work, which is particularly visible in the ham of the woman’s dress and the portrayal of outdoor leisure are all characteristics of emerging impressionism. But the same time, Manet was still very much his own artist. His produced elements of the scene to almost bare minimum you need to suggest two people boating. He abruptly cropped the boat in the sail and he set the boat at an angle which compresses and flattens the scene that we seem to be almost right on top of the figures.

The boldly simplified manner in which Manet approached this composition reveals the admiration for Japanese color woodblock prints, an interesting study shared with Monet and with his fellow impressionists.

I like the suggestive quality of the old Japanese masters’ aesthetic, which evokes a presence by a shadow and the whole by a part. With the cropped composition, the canvas evokes me: two people are boating under a cloud in the summer.

For me, a summer cloud is often seen as one that is fleeting, which implies that good things usually come to an end very soon in life.
So, I hope you can understand the words better now.

Burning in secret, my feelings consume me. And how sad to think that: even the smoke of my fire will end as a summer cloud.

By the way, Is there anything to improve or to share, my friends?:-D

 

[Tarheel]

For me, what makes this painting so immediately eye-catching is the gentleman dressed all in white standing out in a sea of aquamarine.

Edouard Marnet painted this scene in the summer of 1874, when he spent a good deal of time with his young friend and colleague Claude Monet.

That spring, Monet participated what came to to be known as the first impressionist exhibition. Manet declined to exhibit with the newly adopted impressionists. But this canvas shows how taken he was with the styles the impressionists were developing - the black colors, the scratchy blush work, which is particularly visible in the hem of the woman’s dress and the portrayal of outdoor leisure are all characteristics of emerging impressionism. But at the same time, Manet was still very much his own artist. His produced elements of the scene to almost the bare minimum you need to suggest two people boating. He abruptly cropped the boat in the sail and he set the boat at an angle which compresses and flattens the scene that we seem to be almost right on top of the figures.

The boldly simplified manner in which Manet approached this composition reveals his admiration for Japanese color woodblock prints, an interesting study shared with Monet and with his fellow impressionists.

I like the suggestive quality of the old Japanese masters’ aesthetic, which evokes a presence by a shadow and the whole by a part. With the cropped composition, the canvas evokes me: two people are boating under a cloud in the summer.

For me, a summer cloud is often seen as one that is fleeting, which implies that good things usually come to an end very soon in life.
So, I hope you can understand the words better now.

Burning in secret, my feelings consume me. And how sad to think that: even the smoke of my fire will end as a summer cloud.

By the way, Is there anything to improve or to share, my friends?:-D

View attachment 3755

Unfortunately, I don't have a suggestion for replacing "evokes me".

~R

 

[rodgers white]

Unfortunately, I don't have a suggestion for replacing evokes me.

~R

Thank you. I made some stupid mistakes. Originally I want to say: ...what became known... But instead it became '...came to know...' Anyway, sorry for that. There is no excuse. I need to be more careful. By the way, what about replacing 'evokes me' with 'reminds me'?

 

[Tdol]

Why the colon?

 

[rodgers white]

Why the colon?

I use it because I think it is acceptable. So please help me correct it if you think it is wrong.

 

[emsr2d2]

The colon has no place in that sentence.

 

[rodgers white]

The colon has no place in that sentence.

Is that OK?

*************************************************
Thank you. I made some stupid mistakes. Originally I want to say "...what became known..." But instead it became '...came to know...' Anyway, sorry for that. There is no excuse. I need to be more careful. By the way, what about replacing 'evokes me' with 'reminds me'?

 

[rodgers white]

For me, what makes this painting so immediately eye-catching is the gentleman dressed all in white standing out in a sea of aquamarine.

Edouard Marnet painted this scene in the summer of 1874, when he spent a good deal of time with his young friend and colleague Claude Monet.

That spring, Monet participated what became known as the first impressionist exhibition. Manet declined to exhibit with the newly adopted impressionists. But this canvas shows how taken he was with the styles the impressionists were developing - the black colors, the scratchy blush work, which is particularly visible in the hem of the woman’s dress and the portrayal of outdoor leisure are all characteristics of emerging impressionism. But at the same time, Manet was still very much his own artist. His produced elements of the scene to almost the bare minimum you need to suggest two people boating. He abruptly cropped the boat in the sail and he set the boat at an angle which compresses and flattens the scene that we seem to be almost right on top of the figures.

The boldly simplified manner in which Manet approached this composition reveals his admiration for Japanese color woodblock prints, an interesting study shared with Monet and with his fellow impressionists.

I like the suggestive quality of the old Japanese masters’ aesthetic, which evokes a presence by a shadow and the whole by a part. With the cropped composition, the canvas evokes me: two people are boating under a cloud in the summer.

For me, a summer cloud is often seen as one that is fleeting, which implies that good things usually come to an end very soon in life.
So, I hope you can understand the words better now.

Burning in secret, my feelings consume me. And how sad to think that: even the smoke of my fire will end as a summer cloud.

By the way, Is there anything to improve or to share, my friends?

 

[Tarheel]

The painting doesn't evoke you. It stimulates your thoughts or feelings.

 

[rodgers white]

The painting doesn't evoke you. It stimulates your thoughts or feelings.

Can I write something like that: with the cropped composition, the canvas stimulates my imagination: two people are boating under a cloud in the summer.

 

[Tarheel]

Can I write something like that: with the cropped composition, the painting stimulates my imagination: two people are boating under a cloud in the summer.

The painting stimulates your imagination. The canvas doesn't do anything.

 

[rodgers white]

For me, what makes this painting so immediately eye-catching is the gentleman dressed all in white standing out in a sea of aquamarine.

Edouard Marnet painted this scene in the summer of 1874, when he spent a good deal of time with his young friend and colleague Claude Monet.

That spring, Monet participated what became known as the first impressionist exhibition. Manet declined to exhibit with the newly adopted impressionists. But this canvas shows how taken he was with the styles the impressionists were developing - the black colors, the scratchy blush work, which is particularly visible in the hem of the woman’s dress and the portrayal of outdoor leisure are all characteristics of emerging impressionism. But at the same time, Manet was still very much his own artist. His produced elements of the scene to almost the bare minimum you need to suggest two people boating. He abruptly cropped the boat in the sail and he set the boat at an angle which compresses and flattens the scene that we seem to be almost right on top of the figures.

The boldly simplified manner in which Manet approached this composition reveals his admiration for Japanese color woodblock prints, an interesting study shared with Monet and with his fellow impressionists.

I like the suggestive quality of the old Japanese masters’ aesthetic, which evokes a presence by a shadow and the whole by a part. With the cropped composition, the painting stimulates my imagination: two people are boating under a cloud in the summer.

For me, a summer cloud is often seen as one that is fleeting, which implies that good things usually come to an end very soon in life.
So, I hope you can understand the words better now.

Burning in secret, my feelings consume me. And how sad to think that: even the smoke of my fire will end as a summer cloud.

By the way, Is there anything to improve or to share, my friends?

 

[Tarheel]

Better!

(All good things come to an end.)

:up: