failure analysis engineer, who is

[keannu]

Source : self practice
I work as a failure analysis engineer, who is in charge of finding exact failure-causing points. Smart phones are high-tech products, and also our company's engineers are challenging the limitation of technique every day. So failure analysis is a key procedure to making better performance of products.

1.Can you use "who is" to refer to yourself as well?
2. I felt "to making" is better than "to make" in this context. What do you think?

 

[Tarheel]

1. Yes.
2. I agree.

 

[Tarheel]

Note that you don't need "who is" in the first sentence.

 

[keannu]

Source : self practice
I work as a failure analysis engineer, who is in charge of finding exact failure-causing points. Smart phones are high-tech products, and also our company's engineers are challenging the limitation of technique every day. So failure analysis is a key procedure to making better performance of products.

1.Can you use "who is" to refer to yourself as well?
2. I felt "to making" is better than "to make" in this context. What do you think?

I found out on some internet material that "find" is about "places", while "find out" is related to "information", but there can be in-between, ambiguous things as well.
In this case, is 2 better? But you actually find/find out both "place" and "information". I'm not sure if native speakers use "find" and "find out" without much distinguishing.

1.finding exact failure-causing points
2. finding out exact failure-causing points

 

[SoothingDave]

You're trying to find causes and root causes.

 

[Rover_KE]

I have moved your thread.

When you want your own writing to be edited or proofread, please post it here in Editing & Writing Topics.

 

[Tarheel]

You can find information.