[Grammar] essay by me

[Simononetta]

Hello teacher, can you please correct my grammar in this essay .
thank you

"Hello all, let me introduce myself. My name is Simona, I'm 36 years old and I live in a very beautiful and green town called Timisoara in the west side of Romania.Recently I bought an apartment in a large house building and I just finished renovate it. In front of my apartment I have a small garden , in wich my dog is playing a lot.
My favourite hobbies are listening to opera music and reading books about scienes and geografy staff. I work as a secretary in a driving school company, from monday untill friday , from 9 am to 5 pm.
After work I usually get out with my friends. To a mouvie or to do some shopping, or just to take a walk in a parc."

 

[emsr2d2]

Hello. [STRIKE]teacher,[/STRIKE] Can you please correct my grammar in this essay?
Thank you.

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Please note my corrections above to the opening of your post. Before we look at your essay, please tell us what you are going to do with it when it is ready. When do you have to submit your essay to your English teacher for marking or grading?

 

[Simononetta]

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Please note my corrections above to the opening of your post. Before we look at your essay, please tell us what you are going to do with it when it is ready. When do you have to submit your essay to your English teacher for marking or grading?

I'm 36 years old and this is just for me, to see how am I doing with english.

 

[emsr2d2]

I'm 36 years old and this is just for me, to see how am I doing with English.

"Hello [STRIKE]all[/STRIKE] everyone. Let me introduce myself. My name is Simona, I'm 36 years old and I live in a very beautiful and green town called Timisoara in the west [STRIKE]side[/STRIKE] of Romania. (Space after a full stop)

Recently I bought an apartment in a large [STRIKE]house[/STRIKE] building and I have just finished [STRIKE]renovate[/STRIKE] renovating it. In front of my apartment I have a small garden, in which my dog [STRIKE]is playing[/STRIKE] plays a lot.

My favourite hobbies are listening to opera [STRIKE]music[/STRIKE] and reading books about [STRIKE]scienes[/STRIKE] science and [STRIKE]geografy[/STRIKE] geography. [STRIKE]staff.[/STRIKE]

I work as a secretary [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at/for a driving school [STRIKE]company[/STRIKE], [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] Monday [STRIKE]untill[/STRIKE] to Friday, [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] 9 [STRIKE]am[/STRIKE] to 5. [STRIKE]pm.[/STRIKE]

After work I usually [STRIKE]get[/STRIKE] go out with my friends, to a [STRIKE]mouvie[/STRIKE] movie or to do some shopping, or just to take a walk in a [STRIKE]parc[/STRIKE] park."

See above. It's important to follow these rules of written English at all times:

- Start every sentence with a capital letter.
- End every sentence with one appropriate punctuation mark.
- Always capitalise the word "I".
- Always capitalise proper nouns (English, Microsoft, Italy etc).
- Do not put a space before a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
- Always put a space after a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.

 

[Erbab]

After work I usually get go out with my friends, to a mouvie movie or to do some shopping, or just to take a walk in a parc park."

Is that comma really necessary here? I would write that ''I usually go out with my friends to a movie or to do some shopping.