[Essay] essay about advantages and disadvantages of smart phones (please correct it)

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Sepehr.M

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Persian
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Iran
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Mobile phones are portable telephones that due to their convenience, they have changed to the most universally popular gadgets these days. So there is a question that has to be answered: Do the advantages of these smart phones over weigh the disadvantages?
According to some researches: “although cellphone notifications are generally short in duration, they can cause mind wandering” also our smart phones may be causing us some vision problems. Staring at those tiny screens lead to issues such as sore eyes, headaches, muscle strain and dry eye.
On the other hand, mobile phones can be life savers. Imagine you have lost your way or have gotten stuck in bad weather a smart phone could just save your life. by the same token, Whether you are searching for that wierd word you read in the newspaper or reading some articles on a topic close to your heart, a mobile which can connect to the internet is a treasure trove of information. Moreover you will stay connected with everyone all over the world so there is no need to feel lonely when you have a cellphone in your pocket. Additionally these days, mobile phones are loaded with all kinds of fun games.
In conclusion if you use smart phones wisely not only there won’t be any problem but also lots of your problems will be solved
 
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Welcome to the forum. :hi:

What is the purpose of your essay? What are you going to do with it once it's been corrected?
 
Think that it's for my IElTS exam
and please correct it faster
 
You appear to have misunderstood the purpose of the forum, Sepehr.M.

This is not a free, rapid proofreading service for students who have left their homework till the last minute.

When your essay has been marked or graded and you don't know why you have received a low mark/grade, ask us again and we'll show you how it might have been improved.
 
[STRIKE]Think that[/STRIKE] It's for my IELTS exam.
[STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] Please correct it faster.

There are two way to guarantee that you won't get any help from us:

1. Ask us to help with work or an assignment that's for a test or an exam.
2. Demand that we work at your speed, not ours. We're all volunteers here and we do what we can when we can.

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