Email to organization to ask for support

[Joj]

This summer, we (the name of the NGO) is hosting an unprecedented event in (the name of the city). Volunteers will participate in their Clean Along initiative in which they will clean the beaches along the (city) shoreline.

Last year we have reached 300 volunteer with the collaboration with (the name of the ngos), this year we would love if you would like to involve with us and get closer to our mission is to impact the mentality of the people, and the clean up the trashes for two hours in the morning on June 19.
The event includes a clean up, a match of volleyball and in the end of the event our main goal is to make it habitual for people to collect and recycle garbage, which profits might help in humanitarian plans, like the cancer centre case.

That is why we will be collecting garbage from there and sending them to recycle. We, also, have a humanitarian side that we aim to fulfill by donating the money collected from recycling to cancer caretaking centres with the collaboration with the (name of the city) municipality.

Finally, we aim at promoting sports, especially the volleyball game in the city.It is worth noting that the city has a 'semi abandoned' volleyball playground we want to revive.

We would really use your help by volunteering or sponsoring our event.

Thank you in advance and we would be glad to have you participate in our goal.

 

[Tarheel]

"Thank you in advance" thanks somebody for something they they haven't done. And the rest of that sentence is superfluous. I would delete that one if I were you.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:
.
We are....

Don't use the present perfect with "Last year".

Don't use:

involve with us

OR

impact the mentality of the people

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

Last year we had 300 volunteers.

You can clean up the beach OR pick up the trash.

The word "trash" does not have a plural.

 

[Joj]

okay thank you for the remarks any other modification should I do?
This summer,(the name of the NGO) is hosting an unprecedented event in (the name of the city). Volunteers will participate in their Clean Along initiative in which they will clean the beaches along the (city) shoreline.

Last year, "Name of the city" had reached 300 volunteer with the collaboration with (the name of the ngos), this year we would love if you would like to participate with us and get closer to our mission which is to change the mentality of the people towards a cleaning environmental.
The duration of the clean up is for two hours in the morning on June 19.
The event includes a clean up, a match of volleyball and in the end of the event our main goal is to make it habitual for people to collect and recycle garbage, which profits might help in humanitarian plans, like the cancer center case.

That is why we will be collecting garbage from there and sending them to recycle. We, also, have a humanitarian side that we aim to fulfill by donating the money collected from recycling to cancer caretaking centers with the collaboration with the (name of the city) municipality.

Finally, we aim at promoting sports, especially the volleyball game in the city. It is worth noting that the city has a 'semi abandoned' volleyball playground we want to revive.

We would really use your help by volunteering or sponsoring our event.

Thank you in advance and we would be glad to have you participate in our goal.

 

[tedmc]

okay thank you for the remarks any other modification should I do?

Please comment and give suggestions on the text below.

This summer,(the name of the NGO) is hosting an unprecedented (special) event in (the name of the city). Volunteers will participate in their a Clean Along initiative in which they will clean the beaches along the (city) shoreline.

Last year, "Name of the city" had reached 300 volunteers with the collaboration with of (the name of the ngos). This year we would love it if you would like to participate with us in the event and get closer to help accomplish our mission which is to change the mentality of the people towards a cleaning environmental.
The duration of the clean up is for two hours in the morning on June 19.
The event includes a clean up and a match of volleyball. and in the end of the event Our main goal is to make it habitual for people to adopt the habit of to collect collecting and recycle garbage recycling trash, which profits might the proceeds of which would help in humanitarian plans charity, like contribution to the cancer center case.

That is why we will be collecting garbage from there and sending them to recycle for recycling. We also, (no commas) have a humanitarian side that we aim to fulfill by donating the money collected from recycling to the cancer caretaking centers with the collaboration with of the (name of the city) municipality.

Finally, we aim at promoting sports, especially the volleyball game in the city. It is worth noting that For your information, the city has a 'semi-abandoned' volleyball playground which we want to revive.

We would really use appreciate your help by in volunteering or sponsoring our event.

Thank you in advance and We would be glad to have you participate in our goal. look forward to your participation in our event. Thank you.

.

 

[Tarheel]

I think "help" is better than "collaboration" there. Otherwise, I'm pretty happy. Why? Because @tedmc did a pretty good job. That saves me some typing, and I can go back to bed. (It's well past midnight here.)

 

[Joj]

This summer,(the name of the NGO) is hosting an unprecedented special event in (the name of the city). Volunteers will participate cleaning the beaches along (name of the city) shoreline.

Last year, "Name of the city" reached 300 volunteers with the help of (the name of the ngos). This year we would love it if you participate in the event and help accomplish our mission which is to change the mentality of the people towards a clean environment.
The duration of the clean up is for two hours in the morning on June 19.
The event includes a clean up and a match of volleyball. Our main goal is for people to adopt the habit of collecting and recycling trash,the proceeds of which would help in charity, like contribution to the cancer center.

That is why we will be collecting garbage from there and sending them for recycling. We also have a humanitarian side that we aim to fulfill by donating the money collected from recycling to the cancer caretaking centers with the collaboration of the (name of the city) municipality.

Finally, we aim at promoting sports, especially the volleyball in the city. For your information, the city has a 'semi-abandoned' volleyball playground which we want to revive.

We would really appreciate your help in volunteering or sponsoring our event.
We look forward to your participation in our event. Thank you.

Please comment and gives suggestions on the text above.

 

[Tarheel]

Please comment and give suggestions on the text above.

I would delete "Thank you" at the end. In my humble opinion, there is no need to thank everybody who reads the letter. Instead, you can thank the people who show up and participate.