[Essay] Effects of consumerism

[saleshni1]

Consumerism has effects on economy today by increasing the growth and producing more good and services which increases the employment which also increases the risk of depletion of natural resources and increases the psychological issues with in thecommunity

 

[saleshni1]

Please help me revise my thesis.

 

[Alif Mufida]

Is that the title for your thesis? If it is so, the first thing I'm going to comment on is that the word length which is too long for a thesis title. You provide too much words that may be confusing for others to understand. Then, the next thing is the diction. You make some repetition there, as in the term increase. You may shorten it and make it as interesting as possible. So that readers will easily understand and feel curious to read your thesis at once. Well, maybe I can't help you a lot to revise your thesis. Yet, as what my lecturer told me to make title for thesis, you need to make it in three ways: simple, concise, but meaningful. Success on your thesis! ;-)

 

[Louiesaha]

That's sound like a hypothesis to me. So you want to hypothesize, the effect of consumerism, on the bright side, would increase the economic growth, productions, and employments. On the dark side, the effect of consumerism, would deplete the natural resources and affect the psychological well-being of the community?

Not a teacher