E-mail for improvement work

[chowbarry]

Please help me improve the following e-mail for improvement work. Thank you.

Dear Ms. Wilson,

We refer to our site meeting at Empire Playground on 10 Oct 2016, we understand your suggestion to expand the children play area of the playground and we have contacted the Technical Division about the implementation of your suggestion. According to the Technical Division, they are conducting a study on the expansion of child play area and they are faced with the difficulties in removing the adjacent large lawn areas and avoiding the underground cable lines. To facilitate their further study on your suggestion, they wish you can provide them with the following information:

1) Should additional benches, arbours, lightings and notice boards be installed? If so, how many these facilities should be added?

2) Influenced by the expansion work, some handrails, gates and facilities for the people with disabilities should be altered and how would you suggest to dispose of these abandoned facilities?

3) What types of children play equipment would you prefer to be installed?

Please let us know your feedback on the above matters by 18 Nov 2016. Thank you.

Best Regards,

Richard

 

[emsr2d2]

Please help me improve the following e-mail for improvement work. Thank you.

Dear Ms. Wilson,

We refer to our site meeting at Empire Playground on 10 October 2016. We [STRIKE]understand[/STRIKE] have received your suggestion to expand the children's play area [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] in/at the playground and we have contacted the Technical Division about the implementation of your suggestion. [STRIKE]According to[/STRIKE] The Technical Division (no comma here) [STRIKE]they[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] is conducting a study on the expansion of the children's play area [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] but [STRIKE]they are[/STRIKE] is [STRIKE]faced[/STRIKE] facing [STRIKE]with the[/STRIKE] some difficulties in removing the adjacent large lawn areas and avoiding the underground cable lines. To facilitate [STRIKE]their[/STRIKE] further study [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] of your suggestion, [STRIKE]they wish you can[/STRIKE] please provide [STRIKE]them with[/STRIKE] the following information:

1) Should additional benches, arbours, [STRIKE]lightings[/STRIKE] lighting/lights and notice boards be installed? If so, how many of [STRIKE]these[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]facilities[/STRIKE] each should be added?

2) [STRIKE]Influenced by[/STRIKE] As a result of the expansion work, some handrails, gates and facilities for [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] people with disabilities [STRIKE]should[/STRIKE] will need to be altered. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] How would you suggest [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] we dispose of these items? [STRIKE]abandoned facilities?[/STRIKE]

3) What types of children's play equipment would you prefer to be installed?

Please [STRIKE]let us know your feedback on the above matters[/STRIKE] reply by 18 November 2016. Thank you.

Best regards,

Richard

See my changes above.