Diary - summer day

[Maybo]

Hong Kong is summer now. I feel extremely hot. I don't even want to step out of my home but today I still went outside for lunch. When I am out, I always use an umbrella to block the sunlight because it hurts when I am in the sun. But even if I use the umbrella, the heat would reflect from the ground and then steam my legs. During the walk to having lunch, I felt like I was melting and dying; all my blood was flowing out of my skin. I already kept drinking water but that didn't help much as my head became painful. I couldn't imagine the 10-minute walk could do me a headache. Finally, I waited until sunset in the restaurant and went back home.

 

[teechar]

Hong Kong is summer now.

Is Hong Kong a season? ;-)
Do you know how to fix that?

I feel extremely hot. I don't even want to step out of my home, but today I still went out [STRIKE]side[/STRIKE] for lunch. When I am out, I always use an umbrella to block the sunlight because it hurts when I am in the sun. But even if I use the umbrella, the heat [STRIKE]would reflect[/STRIKE] radiating from the ground [STRIKE]and then steam[/STRIKE] hurts my legs. [STRIKE]During the walk to having lunch,[/STRIKE] As I walked to the restaurant, I felt like I was melting and dying! [STRIKE]all my blood was flowing out of my skin.[/STRIKE] I [STRIKE]already kept drinking[/STRIKE] drank a lot of water before going out, but that didn't help much as I started to get a headache.[STRIKE]my head became painful.[/STRIKE] I couldn't [STRIKE]imagine the[/STRIKE] that a 10-minute walk in the sun could [STRIKE]do me[/STRIKE] trigger a headache. Finally, I waited until sunset in the restaurant and went back home.

 

[Maybo]

The season of Hong Kong is summer now?

 

[teechar]

Hint: dummy subject.

 

[Maybo]

Hint: dummy subject.

It is summer now in Hong Kong?

 

[teechar]

Yes, well done, but without the question mark, of course!

 

[Tarheel]

The heat gives you a headache?

 

[Maybo]

The heat gives you a headache?

Yes, maybe I got dehydrated.

 

[emsr2d2]

Try to rewrite "steam my legs". That verb doesn't work. Note that it should have been "steams" because the subject is "the heat".

If all your blood was flowing out of your skin, you would be bleeding to death. That's not the same as melting.

 

[Tarheel]

Stay hydrated! Drink plenty of water!

 

[Maybo]

Try to rewrite "steam my legs". That verb doesn't work. Note that it should have been "steams" because the subject is "the heat".

If all your blood was flowing out of your skin, you would be bleeding to death. That's not the same as melting.

How about "dries my legs"?

 

[Tarheel]

Hong Kong is summer now. I feel extremely hot. I don't even want to step out of my home but today I still went outside for lunch. When I am out, I always use an umbrella to block the sunlight because it hurts when I am in the sun. But even if I use the umbrella, the heat would reflect from the ground and then steam my legs. During the walk to having lunch, I felt like I was melting and dying; all my blood was flowing out of my skin. I already kept drinking water but that didn't help much as my head became painful. I couldn't imagine the 10-minute walk could do me a headache. Finally, I waited until sunset in the restaurant and went back home.

Perhaps:

It feels like my legs are baking

And:

During the walk to the restaurant it felt like I was baking

(I know I already used that word once. I can't think of anything else. Besides, it's not a capital crime to do that.)

And:

I drank a lot of water, but I still got a headache

And:

I didn't think the ten-minute walk would give me a headache

Finally, I would leave off Finally in the last sentence.

 

[emsr2d2]

No. That suggests that your legs were previously wet (for no apparent reason) and that the sun dries them. It's hard to help you to reword it because we don't usually need to refer to the effect the sun has specifically on our legs.

 

[Maybo]

No. That suggests that your legs were previously wet (for no apparent reason) and that the sun dries them. It's hard to help you to reword it because we don't usually need to refer to the effect the sun has specifically on our legs.

I felt like the water in my skin evaporating quickly, and the water became visible like when we are cooking, we see the smoke. It's a bit exaggerating.

 

[Tarheel]

The water in your skin doesn't evaporate. (You would die.) The water on your skin (sweat) evaporates. When it doesn't you do, of course, become sweaty.

 

[Tarheel]

I felt like the water in my skin evaporating quickly, and the water became visible like when we are cooking, we see the smoke. It's a bit exaggerating.

Yes, it is a bit of an exaggeration.

 

[tedmc]

The heat was so severe and dehydrating that I feel/saw moisture vaporizing/evaporating from my skin.

 

[teechar]

That's unnatural, and the tenses don't match.