Diary - My friend shared another paranormal story

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

My friend shared another paranormal story, and this time she was involved! Many years ago, her family travelled to Japan. One night my friend woke up and saw her mum staring at the end of my friend’s bed. My friend felt weird but she was very tired so she got back to sleep very quickly. The next morning, her mum told her the truth, “last night, a ghost was trying to possess you but I stopped it.” That’s insane! Who can help me if I got into this kind of trouble? There was a funny part. Her mum said before the ghost left, it took a peek at their luggage.

 

[emsr2d2]

One of my friends shared another paranormal story, and this time she was involved! Many years ago, her family travelled to were in Japan on holiday/vacation. One night, my friend woke up and saw her mum staring at the end of my friend’s her bed. My friend She felt that was weird but she was very tired so she got back to sleep very quickly. The next morning, her mum told her the truth said “Last night, a ghost was trying to possess you but I stopped it.” That’s insane! Who can could/would help me if I got into this kind of trouble? There was a funny part side to the story. Her mum said that before the ghost left, it took a peek at their luggage.

Note that your opening sentence works only if someone has read your previous thread. Assume your reader knows nothing. I'd open with "One of my friends told me about a paranormal experience she had".
Can you see how it would have helped if you'd given your friend a name in the story? Some of the instances of "her" and "she" are ambiguous because you're talking about a female friend and her mum.

 

[Tarheel]

That woman has quite an imagination. I don't doubt that she saw a ghost. Whether there was really anything there is a different question. I noticed that she's the hero of the story. Of course, if there really was a ghost what could she do to stop it? Stop it from doing what? Have you ever noticed that the one telling the story is almost always the hero of the story?

 

[Maybo]

Of course, if there really was a ghost what could she do to stop it? Stop it from doing what?

I don’t know how exactly she did that, but my friend has told me a few more stories, and I’m going to write them in my coming diary posts. If you’d like to see if what she said is true, you could keep reading my posts. Next time, I will call my friend Jenny.

 

[Tarheel]

I'm looking forward to more of your stories.

 

[emsr2d2]

Stop it from doing what?

I would say that "... a ghost was trying to possess you but I stopped it" answers that question!

 

[Tarheel]

OK. How did she do that?

 

[emsr2d2]

OK. How did she do that?

I don't know. It doesn't say, but it answers your original question.
@Maybo Do you know how your friend's mum thinks she stopped a ghost from possessing her daughter?

 

[Maybo]

Do you know how your friend's mum thinks she stopped a ghost from possessing her daughter?

She didn't tell me that but she said her mum sometimes uses her will(I don't know what exactly it is) to communicate with ghosts. Different kinds of entities might use different communication methods. After a few more stories, you may kind of know how she did that, and also know what I mean by "entities". My friend fears ghost stories, but her mum keeps telling her in the hope to make her bold.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

She keeps telling her daughter ghost stories in an effort to make her less afraid of them.

Apparently, it isn't working.

 

[emsr2d2]

I suspect her mum's plan might backfire! If she keeps telling her things like "I saw a ghost at the end of your bed" or "A ghost tried to possess you", she's going to be more terrified, not less! She'd be better off just saying something like "Some people, including me, believe they can see ghosts. They're harmless though, so if you ever see one, don't be scared!"

 

[Tarheel]

It's a bit confusing. The thing about a ghost trying to possess somebody certainly doesn't suggest that they're harmless.

 

[emsr2d2]

It's a bit confusing. The thing about a ghost trying to possess somebody certainly doesn't suggest that they're harmless.

I agree but if the mother is trying to reassure her daughter, she shouldn't be talking about possession anyway!