Diary - My father went back to his hometown a few months ago.

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

My father went back to his hometown a few months ago. At first, one of his old colleagues said he could pick him up at the pier but for some reason, he couldn’t make it so he told my father’s relative to pick him up instead. My father stayed at that colleague’s home one night before going back to Hong Kong the following day. Today, the colleague told my mother that when my father stayed at his home, the relative asked him to get my father out, and not to get food for my father. The reason was that my father didn’t give him money for the rides. I can’t believe we have a relative like him. If he didn’t want to help, just said that at the beginning, or told my father that he needed to pay for that.

 

[Tarheel]

Let's start at the ending. Perhaps:

I can't believe we have a relative like that. If he didn't want to help he he should have said that at the beginning or told my father he would have to pay to stay with him.

The word "relative" works there, but generally speaking the reader (me) is likely to be curious about what exactly the relationship is.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

My father went back to his hometown for a visit a few months ago.

The original leaves the reader wondering whether it was just a visit or whether it was something more permanent.

 

[Tarheel]

I'm curious. Was the relative a brother or sister? An aunt or uncle? A cousin? Anyhow, whoever it is it seems like it's not a very nice person. Is that what you mean to say.

Was he only supposed to stay with his colleague one night?

 

[Maybo]

I'm curious. Was the relative a brother or sister? An aunt or uncle? A cousin? Anyhow, whoever it is it seems like it's not a very nice person. Is that what you mean to say.

Was he only supposed to stay with his colleague one night?

The colleague invited my father to his home and stay a night.

 

[Maybo]

Let's start at the ending. Perhaps:

I can't believe we have a relative like that. If he didn't want to help he he should have said that at the beginning or told my father he would have to pay to stay with him.

Not to pay to stay with him. The relative is my father’s sister’s son I guess. He drove my father home so he thinks my father should pay for that.

 

[Tarheel]

@Maybo
Got it! (Maybe that could have been clearer. ) Apparently, it wasn't a close relative, and he thought he should have been paid for picking your dad up at the pier. Apparently, because that didn't happen he was resentful.