Diary - I just watched a video about dog training

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

I just watched a video about dog training, and I've learned something useful from it. Before dogs get anything they wants, they better be in a calm emotion. For example, when it's meal time, some dogs might be very hyped and jump on their owners. In this instance, we need to wait for them to calm and focused first, and then we give them food so that they know how to behave themselves. The show reminded me of my grandparent's dog, which had golden hair and a pink nose. She was the cutest dog in the world, and no other dogs can compare to her. (She's dead.)

 

[tedmc]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

I just watched a video about dog training, and I've learned something useful from it. Before dogs get anything they wants, they better should be in a calm emotion disposition. For example, when it's meal time, some dogs might be very hyped excited and jump on at their owners. In this instance, we need to wait for them to calm down and be focused first, and only then we give them food, so that they know learn how to behave themselves. The show reminded me of my grandparent's dog, which had golden hair and a pink nose. She was the cutest dog in the world, and no other dogs can could compare to her. (She's dead.)

 

[emsr2d2]

I know you know better than "they wants". Also, look at all the examples of "they" and "them" in your piece and make sure it's absolutely clear whether the words refer to the dogs or their owners.

 

[Maybo]

Revised:
In this instance, we need to wait for the dogs to calm down and be focused first, and only then we give them food, so that they learn how to behave themselves.

 

[Tarheel]

@Maybo
Try:

In this instance, we need to wait for the dogs to calm down and only then give them food. That way they'll learn how to behave themselves.

As for post #1, if you had to mention that the dog is dead -- well, that came out of nowhere and was unintentionally humorous because of its placement.

 

[Maybo]

As for post #1, if you had to mention that the dog is dead -- well, that came out of nowhere and was unintentionally humorous because of its placement.

I mentioned that for the tenses.

 

[Tarheel]

I mentioned that for the tenses.

I had to look at the OP again. Since you used past tense, people reading that would probably assume that the dog is no longer living.

"She was the cutest dog ...."

If you think you should say something like that, you could say "She will be missed. She was a friendly little dog -- the best dog ever." Something like that.