Describe a rule you had to obey when you were in school.

[Maybo]

I have chosen a IELTS practice speaking topic and written a paragraph about it. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Topic: Describe a rule you had to obey when you were in school. You should say:

• what the rule was
• if you agreed with the rule
• why the rule existed

and what happened if students broke the rule.



During secondary school, girls were required to tie their hair if the length of hair grew past their shoulder. I didn't agree with the rule because I didn't see the point of restraining students' hair style in that way. If schools were afraid that students spent too much time on their hairstyle, and therefore didn't focus on study, then they should ask girls to cut their hair extremely short, for example a butch cut. so I didn't know why the rule existed. If we broke the rule, we would receiving a warning. If we committed it twice, we would got a light demerit.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I have chosen a IELTS practice speaking topic and written a paragraph about it. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Topic: Describe a rule you had to obey when you were in school. You should say:

• what the rule was
• if you agreed with the rule
• why the rule existed

and what happened if students broke the rule.

During secondary school, girls were required to tie their hair if it grew past their shoulders. I didn't agree with the rule because I didn't see the point of restraining students' hair styles in that way. If schools were afraid that students spent too much time on their hairstyles [no comma] and therefore didn't focus on studying, then they should ask the girls to cut their hair extremely short—for example, a butch cut. So I didn't know why the rule existed. If we broke the rule, we would receiving a warning. If we committed it twice, we would got a light demerit.

1. I don't get it. If there's no point in restraining students' hair styles, then why should the school make them get butch cuts?

2. Also, the last two sentences should be moved up. They should be the second and third sentences.

 

[Maybo]

1. I don't get it. If there's no point in restraining students' hair styles, then why should the school make them get butch cuts?

Actually, I don't think they should retrain students' hair styles in any way. But if the schools' intention is to discourage students to spend time on hairstyle, then butch hair or even bald head would be more effective. Because having shoulder-long hair or longer hair really don't make much difference to me when I take care of them. So the rule doesn't sound reasonable and I don't think it should be existed. But I just guess their intention and not sure of it.

 

[Tarheel]

I think it should probably be a minor demerit

(I don't remember any of the rules. That was a long time ago.)

It was probably against the rules for me to touch the teacher's nylon stockings while she was wearing them. (I did that once in kindergarten.)

 

[Maybo]

It was probably against the rules for me to touch the teacher's nylon stockings while she was wearing them. (I did that once in kindergarten.)

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[emsr2d2]

BrE:

- We'd say that someone has to tie their hair back if it's longer than shoulder-length.
- We don't use "butch cut".

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Actually, I don't think they should restyle students' hair styles in any way. But if the school's intention is to discourage students from spending time on hairstyling, then butch hair or even bald head would be more effective. Having shoulder-length hair or longer hair really doesn't make much difference to me when I teach of them. So the rule doesn't sound reasonable, and I don't think it should exist. But I am just guessing their intention and am not sure of it.

Then make that clearer in your essay. As you wrote it, the essay makes it sound as though you think cutting their hair short when they're failing would make sense.

 

[Maybo]

difference to me when I teach of them. So the rule doesn't sound

Does "teach of" mean educate?

 

[tedmc]

Does "teach of" mean educate?

If should have been deleted.

 

[Tarheel]

I don't really care about hair length. So the rule doesn't seem reasonable, and I don't think it should exist. But I just guess their intentions are good.

~R

 

[Maybo]

If should have been deleted.

Ah, "them" is "hair". "...make much difference when I take care of shoulder-length hair or longer hair."

 

[Tarheel]

Ah, "them" is "hair". "...make much difference when I take care of shoulder-length hair or longer hair."

What do you mean by "take care of" there? Are you talking about your own hair?

 

[Tarheel]

Actually, I don't think they should restrain students' hair styles in any way. But if the schools' intention is to discourage students from spending time on their hair then requiring students to get butch haircuts or even shaving their heads would be more effective.

~R

 

[Maybo]

What do you mean by "take care of" there? Are you talking about your own hair?

Yes, like keep the hair healthy.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Does "teach of" mean educate?

Sorry. I meant "teach," not "teach of."

My mistake. Thanks!

 

[Tarheel]

Yes. I like to keep my hair healthy.

Healthy hair is happy hair.
;-)