David was bullied from his first day

[Bassim]

Have I made any mistakes?

David was bullied from his first day at school, which affected him deeply for many years. Although he was professionally successful, he kept himself mostly to himself and never trusted people. If he noticed that someone of his colleagues tried to bully others, David would react immediately and tell the bully to get lost. People used to say that he could smell out a bully like a dog smelling out a trail.

 

[teechar]

Have I made any mistakes?

Yes, "someone" is wrong. Do you know what you can use instead?

People used to say that he could [STRIKE]smell[/STRIKE] pick out a bully like a sniffer dog. [STRIKE]smelling out a trail.[/STRIKE]

 

[Bassim]

Would this version be OK?

If he noticed that anyone of his colleagues tried to bully others, David would react immediately...

 

[teechar]

No. You can use "any", "one" or "any one" instead.

 

[Tarheel]

Have I made any mistakes?

David was bullied from his first day at school, which affected him deeply for many years. Although he was professionally successful, he kept himself mostly to himself and never trusted people. If he noticed one of his colleagues bullying somebody, David would react immediately and tell the bully to get lost. People used to say that he could smell out a bully like a dog on the hunt.

The word "trying" doesn't work at all for me there. (What does trying look like?)

 

[teechar]

I think "trying" works perfectly. It means the bully was starting/attempting to bully someone.

 

[Tarheel]

If the individual was trying to bully someone but was having no success there would be no reason to intervene.