David demanded an apology

[Bassim]

Would you please correct the mistakes in my sentences?

David demanded an apology from a restaurant after he had been treated disrespectfully by a waiter. He and his wife ordered a bottle of wine to dinner, and the waiter brought an opened one. When David asked him why he had opened the bottle behind the bar instead of opening it at the table as it is a custom, the waiter span around and strode off to the bar, without saying a word. He returned a few moments later holding a cork on his palm. "Here is your cork!" he shouted. "Shove it up your ugly nose!"

 

[emsr2d2]

Would you please correct the mistakes in my sentences?

David demanded an apology from a restaurant after he had been treated disrespectfully by a waiter. He and his wife had ordered a bottle of wine to accompany [their] dinner, and the waiter brought an [STRIKE]opened[/STRIKE] open one. When David asked him why he had opened the bottle behind the bar instead of opening it at the table as [STRIKE]it is a custom[/STRIKE] is customary, the waiter [STRIKE]span[/STRIKE] spun around and strode off to the bar (no comma here) without saying a word. He returned a few moments later [STRIKE]holding[/STRIKE] with a cork [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] in [STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] the palm of his hand. "Here is your cork!" he shouted. "Shove it up your ugly nose!"

See above. Even though the relevant part of the hand is called the palm, I found it odd there. I initially thought he was carrying a palm leaf with a cork on it! I'd say either "in the palm of his hand" or just "in his hand".
I'm guessing you used "Shove it up your nose!" in order to avoid the ruder, but more likely, alternative. However, that's simply not something a native speaker would say. I've always liked "Shove it where the sun don't shine!" The verb error ("don't" instead of "doesn't") is correct in that oft-used phrase.

 

[Bassim]

You've guessed right, emsr2d2. I used "nose" to avoid the rude expression, although I believe an angry waiter wouldn't care much about its rudeness.