[General] Creative Writing | Talking About Being An Introvert

Status
Not open for further replies.

Jexis

New member
Joined
Aug 12, 2020
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Tagalog
Home Country
Philippines
Current Location
Philippines
Hello there!

Here's a paragraph I wrote below where I talk about what it is like to be an introvert

Could you please take a look at it?
And, may I also have your suggestions after reading it?

This is what it is like to be an introvert. Most people stay away from you when you approach them because they probably think you're a weirdo. When you realize you've said something awkward to someone, you sometimes wish you'd never been born. You often find yourself wondering what is wrong with you, the more you look for answers the more questions you end up having. But over time, you will get used to it and learn how to stop caring about what others think of you.

Here are my own thoughts about it.
  • I think the exaggeration part could be improved.
  • Some sentences seem a little choppy.
  • There could be a better word or phrase for some parts.
  • I'm not sure if I used the right tenses in some parts.
 
This is what it is like[STRIKE] to be[/STRIKE] if you are an introvert. Most people stay away from you when you approach them because they probably think you're a weirdo. When you realize you've said something awkward to someone, you sometimes wish you'd never been born. You often find yourself wondering what is wrong with you; the more you look for answers the more questions you end up having. But over time, you will get used to it and learn how to stop [STRIKE]caring about[/STRIKE] paying attention to/being bothered about what others think of you.

I think it is better to be consistent with the pronoun (you being an introvert) from the start.
 
Hello there!

Here's a paragraph I wrote [STRIKE]below[/STRIKE] where I talk about what it is like to be an introvert

Could you please take a look at it?
And, may I also have your suggestions after reading it?

This is what it is like to be an introvert. Most people stay away from you when you approach them because they probably think you're a weirdo [1]. When you realize you've said something awkward to someone, you sometimes wish you'd never been born. You often find yourself wondering what is wrong with you. The more you look for answers, the more questions you end up having. But over time, you [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] get used to it and learn how to stop caring about what others think of you.

Here are my own thoughts about it.
  • I think it's a bit exaggerated. [STRIKE]the exaggeration part could be improved.[/STRIKE]
  • Some sentences seem a little choppy. [STRIKE]
  • There could be a better[/STRIKE] I could use more-appropriate words or phrases for some parts.
  • I'm not sure if I used the right tenses in some parts.

[1]: That's not what an introvert does. An introvert is typically shy and does not approach people.
See above corrections. Otherwise, your writing is okay.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Status
Not open for further replies.

Ask a Teacher

If you have a question about the English language and would like to ask one of our many English teachers and language experts, please click the button below to let us know:

(Requires Registration)
Back
Top