Could you please evaluate my example pronunciation?

[pagejimmy]

I'm trying to write songs in English, and playing songs with bad accent isn't fun anymore. So could you listen to this video and point to my accent problems? Thank you very much!

 

[Tdol]

The middle bit breaks down. I think speed itself may be an issue.

 

[englishhobby]

Practise your [t] sound (it should be alveolar).