sofiarica94
New member
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2016
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Spanish
- Home Country
- Spain
- Current Location
- Spain
Hello, I am new here, so I have read carefully the rules, I hope I am not breaking anyone! =P
My teacher corrected me yesterday this letter, I was wondering if you could tell me any more mistakes, Thank you!
Note the mistakes corrected by my teacher in bold.
To whom it may concern:
I am writing to propose a new range of facilities for young people in our town. As far as I am concerned, youngsters do not have access to enough services to spend their free time constructively.
First of all, it would be interesting [STRIKE]that there would[/STRIKE] if there could be a cinema which plays movies in their original version. This is a perfect way to escape from the daily routine for young people and it could contribute positively to their knowledge. In other words, this kind of cinema could cultivate youngsters’ minds [STRIKE]making[/STRIKE] helping them [STRIKE]to [/STRIKE] in learning different languages, lifestyles and culture from different countries. Moreover, it might be a good idea to set up a game room which offers a variety of games that include on the one hand, school games and on the other hand, free time games. The former contain topics from school subjects such as geography, languages, history, mathematics or physical education. Youngsters could choose the subject they would like to play and there would be different questions that they have to answer according to their age. The latter include science-fiction, cars, and fight or gambling games but there would be a rule; it would be necessary to answer properly the questions from school games if they want to play [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] free time games. Opening such a room would increase the motivation [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] of young people to answer
appropriately the questions as well as they would be learning new concepts that otherwise they would not probably learn. The last proposal I am going to suggest is to habilitate open places in order to discuss topics they are interested in. There would be surveys so as to choose the topics they want to talk [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] about. As a result of [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] this, everyone would be able to share their opinions
without being judged by [STRIKE]no [/STRIKE] anyone and having freedom of expression. This would be a good way to socialize with others and learn[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] from them.
I hope these recommendations might be taken into consideration and implemented in the short term. If you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me by email at XXXX
My teacher corrected me yesterday this letter, I was wondering if you could tell me any more mistakes, Thank you!
Note the mistakes corrected by my teacher in bold.
To whom it may concern:
I am writing to propose a new range of facilities for young people in our town. As far as I am concerned, youngsters do not have access to enough services to spend their free time constructively.
First of all, it would be interesting [STRIKE]that there would[/STRIKE] if there could be a cinema which plays movies in their original version. This is a perfect way to escape from the daily routine for young people and it could contribute positively to their knowledge. In other words, this kind of cinema could cultivate youngsters’ minds [STRIKE]making[/STRIKE] helping them [STRIKE]to [/STRIKE] in learning different languages, lifestyles and culture from different countries. Moreover, it might be a good idea to set up a game room which offers a variety of games that include on the one hand, school games and on the other hand, free time games. The former contain topics from school subjects such as geography, languages, history, mathematics or physical education. Youngsters could choose the subject they would like to play and there would be different questions that they have to answer according to their age. The latter include science-fiction, cars, and fight or gambling games but there would be a rule; it would be necessary to answer properly the questions from school games if they want to play [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] free time games. Opening such a room would increase the motivation [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] of young people to answer
appropriately the questions as well as they would be learning new concepts that otherwise they would not probably learn. The last proposal I am going to suggest is to habilitate open places in order to discuss topics they are interested in. There would be surveys so as to choose the topics they want to talk [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] about. As a result of [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] this, everyone would be able to share their opinions
without being judged by [STRIKE]no [/STRIKE] anyone and having freedom of expression. This would be a good way to socialize with others and learn[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] from them.
I hope these recommendations might be taken into consideration and implemented in the short term. If you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me by email at XXXX