[Essay] Correct ACADEMIC Writing TASK 1

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evaristo87

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Apr 9, 2014
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This bar graph describes the amount of male and female who are in adult learning in Britain depends on if they were studing full-time or part-time divided in three periods. The x-axis represents the time and the y-axis representes the number of persons in thousands.

At first sight we can see that the most common is part-time education in both genders. In 1970/71 the number of men in part-time education were fourty per cent more than women approximately. However that trend changed, because ten years later the number of women were nearly the same than men, and in 1990/91 the number of women increased significantly compared to the number of men.
On the other hand, full-time education rose constantly in the three periods in both gender.

To summarize, in overall the number of students went up in full-time and part-time education except men who decrease the number of students in part-time education.

120430_academic_writing_task_1A.pdf

https://www.ielts.org/PDF/120430_academic_writing_task_1A.pdf
 
Could anyone tell me what he think?
 
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