[Grammar] Constructing a formal sentence/grammar

[ragereg]

In the letter that i'm about to write i want to express to the reader that our collaboration would be a good idea in a more formal way of speaking and
as of now my current progress is:

"this collaboration would benefit us in such a way that the resulting design would be more efficient, reliable and cost effective"

I feel that the opening part of the sentence is weak and kinda casual, so instead of saying "this" i want to express it in a more subject specific way but i just can't seem
to find the perfect word in the back of my head. All i could think of is "Such collaboratory(don't even know if there's such a word) work with company B..." and i'm a lot less confident of that opening for my letter than what i stated earlier and if there are other suggestions on how to improve the rest of the sentence please do throw them at me.

 

[emsr2d2]

In the letter that I'm about to write, I want to express to the reader that our collaboration would be a good idea in a more formal way of speaking and
[STRIKE]as of now[/STRIKE] my current [STRIKE]progress[/STRIKE] version is:

"This collaboration would benefit us in such a way that the resulting design would be more efficient, reliable and cost-effective."

I feel that the opening part of the sentence is weak and [STRIKE]kinda[/STRIKE] [kind of] casual. [STRIKE]so[/STRIKE] Instead of saying "this" I want to express it in a more subject-specific way but I just can't seem to find the perfect word. [STRIKE]in the back of my head.[/STRIKE] All I [STRIKE]could[/STRIKE] can think of is "Such collaboratory space here (I don't even know if there's such a word) work with company B..." and I'm a lot less confident of that opening for my letter than [STRIKE]what[/STRIKE] the one I stated earlier. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] If [STRIKE]there are[/STRIKE] anyone has/you have other suggestions on how to improve the rest of the sentence, please do throw them at me.

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

First, please note my corrections above. You must capitalise the word "I" every time you write it.

Did you check online dictionaries to see if "collaboratory" exists? Even if it does, your suggested rewrite is much less natural than your original. There is nothing wrong with "This collaboration" as long as you have described the collaboration previously.