Check the essay.

[Fredoon]

Hello,
I have just written this short essay about "the best way to live". Could you please take a look at it and correct my mistakes?

Personally, I would rather live in a place in the university's neighborhood though it is old or noisy.
It helps me to save a great deal of time. As a student, I have a tight schedule, so I must manage my time efficiently. If I lived close to the university, I could not only keep myself away from wasting time commuting and stalling in traffic jams but also do mind-refreshing activities like hiking and jogging.

 

[tedmc]

If I lived close to the university, I could would not only keep myself away from wasting time commuting and stalling in save time commuting and getting caught in traffic jams, but also do which could be used on mind-refreshing activities like hiking and jogging.

 

[Fredoon]

What do you think of this:
If I lived close to the university, I would save the time that would have been wasted commuting and stalling in traffic jams and spend it on doing mind-refreshing activities like hiking and jogging.
or
If I lived close to the university, by avoiding wasting time commuting and stalling in traffic jams, I could find time to do mind-refreshing activities like hiking and jogging.

 

[Tarheel]

Personally, I think "personally" is one if the most useless words there is.

When you use "old or noisy" the suggestion it can't be expected to be _____.

Rather than "keep myself away from" use "avoid".

Try:

If I lived close to the university I could save time on commuting, and I could use that time for other things.

After going to the trouble to write that, you could have thought of a better thread title. Perhaps:
.
Saving time

 

[Tarheel]

Just say you would spend less time commuting. You don't need to add the part about traffic jams.

 

[tedmc]

Where is the word "personally" used,?

People don't stall; engines and other things do.

I would say "recreational activities" instead of "mind-refreshing" activities.

"Do activities" doesn't sound good.

"If I ....., by avoiding....." is no good.

 

[Tarheel]

Where is the word "personally" used,?

Post #1.

 

[Fredoon]

Just say you would spend less time commuting. You don't need to add the part about traffic jams.

In fact, I'd like to add more detail to sources of wasting time: commuting time, getting caught in traffic, and even waiting for buses. I am not sure, maybe commuting time included all this stuff.

 

[Fredoon]

Personally, I think "personally" is one if the most useless words there is.

I have heard many people say it; however, when I check sentences like this by Grammarly, it has a similar opinion to you. So, may you tell me when should I use this word?

 

[Tarheel]

I have heard many people say that; and when I check sentences like this by Grammarly, it has a similar opinion to yours. So, would you tell me when should I use this word?

I don't use it except for humorous effect. If, for example, you are expressing your opinion about something it adds nothing. (When else would you use it?)