Check my short essay.

[Fredoon]

Dear Friends
I just wrote the following essay. Could you please take a look at it and inform me of my mistakes.

I prefer to have a plain room for two significant reasons.
First, the room decoration puts me to expense. I am a student with limited financial resources, so I need to care about my expenses. If I kept my room simple, I could maintain the portion of my budget allocated for adorning costs and spend it on buying books and clothes.
In addition, rooms with lots of adornments put me off my stride. Since I am a student, the environment must be conducive to learning. If I surrounded my room with various decorations, my attention would occasionally turn to them and unconsciously think about them. The mind-wandering from my work makes me lose track of time, finding myself not doing my homework.

 

[Tarheel]

The second sentence in your post needs different end punctuation.

Try:

I don't make much money, so I can't spare much to decorate my room.

And:

I need to watch my money.

 

[Fredoon]

I really wonder if the bold phrases are correct or not?

 

[emsr2d2]

Dear friends, (You're not writing a letter so there's no need for such a greeting. Stick with "Hello".)

I just wrote the following essay. Could you please take a look at it and inform me of correct my mistakes?


I prefer to have a plain room for two significant reasons.

First, the room decoration puts me to expense Decorating a room would be expensive/would cost me a lot of money. I am a student with limited financial resources, so I need to care about be careful with my expenses. If I kept keep my room simple, I could can maintain the portion of my budget allocated for adorning costs and spend it spend the money I would have spent on decorating it on buying books and clothes.

In addition, fussy/messy rooms with lots of adornments put me off my stride. Since I am a student, the environment must be conducive to learning. If I surrounded filled my room with various decorations with lots of stuff/trinkets, my attention would occasionally turn to them and I would unconsciously think about them. The mind-wandering This would make my mind wander [away] from my work makes and make me lose track of time, finding myself not doing so I wouldn't do my homework.

Note my changes above. You need to make it clear whether you're talking about decorating your room (paint, wallpaper, curtains etc) or about the things you choose to have in your room (furniture, trinkets, general stuff).

 

[tedmc]

I prefer to have a plain room for two significant main reasons.

First, the room decoration puts me to expense incurs additional cost.

I am a student with limited financial resources, so I need to care be prudent about my expenses.

If I kept my room simple, I could maintain the portion of my budget allocated for adorning costs and spend it use the money saved from spending on decorations on for buying books and clothes.

In addition, rooms with lots of adornments put me off my stride. Besides, I do not appreciate decorations in my room.

Since I am a student, the environment must be conducive to learning

. If I surrounded my room with various decorations, my attention would occasionally turn to them and unconsciously think about them.
An elaborately decorated room would be a distraction and not be conducive to studying.

The mind-wandering from my work makes me lose track of time, finding myself not doing my homework.

I would be able to concentrate better on my homework without distractions in my room.

 

[Fredoon]

use the money saved from spending on decorations

... use the money saved from not spending on decorations. Am I right?

 

[emsr2d2]

... use the money saved from not spending on decorations. Am I right?

You're right.