Can you help me proofread my motivation letter?

[luquilla]

Hi!, I'm applying for a Ph.D. Progam and I would really appreciate if you can proofread what I have so far. Thank you in advance.


Dear Sir or Madam:
I recently finished my Licenciatura (Bachelor) in Biology by the XXXXX under the direction of Profesor Dr. Txxx Fxxx. I learned about your International Ph.D. Programme at the xxxx from the xxx and xxxx sites. I am very interested in continuing my education in your institution, which I perceive as innovative and groundbreaking and therefore it would be a great opportunity to further my knowledge and personal growth.


My research with Profesor Dr. Fxxxx explored the adenohypophysis plasticity and how cellular multi-responsiveness may increase to overcome axes disruption. By removing the axes target organs we elicited a disruption in the negative feedback mechanism, then, by analyzing the calcium activity to the five hypothalamic secretagogues we assessed if there were any changes in the adenohypophysis population.


I consider having a good research background due to my academic formation which has allowed me to gain experience since 2009. First with molecular techniques at the Molecular Toxicology and Genetics Laboratory and then with molecular, immunohistochemistry, physiology and fluorescence techniques at the Comparative Neuroendocrinology Laboratory. I have also worked with people from different disciplines such as Physics, Engineering, Veterinary, and Psychology. This has allowed me to acquire and broaden my research, teamwork, problem-solving and communication skills.


I hope to complement my understanding of the neural plasticity and how cellular networks interact. I look forward that my doctoral training would help understand how these networks are built and the factors involved.

 

[teechar]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I recently finished my Licenciatura (bachelor's) in biology [STRIKE]by[/STRIKE] at the XXXXX under the direction of Profesor Dr. Txxx Fxxx. I learned about your International Ph.D. Programme at the xxxx from the xxx and xxxx sites. I am very interested in continuing my education in your institution, which I perceive as innovative and groundbreaking and, therefore, it would be a great opportunity to further my knowledge and personal growth.

My research with Profesor Dr. Fxxxx explored the adenohypophysis plasticity and how cellular multi-responsiveness may increase to overcome axes disruption. By removing the axes target organs, [That doesn't sound right. Are you sure the word order is correct?] we elicited a disruption in the negative feedback mechanism. Then, by analyzing the calcium activity [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] in/of the five hypothalamic secretagogues we [STRIKE]assessed if there were[/STRIKE] looked for any changes in the adenohypophysis population.

I [STRIKE]consider having a good[/STRIKE] have a strong research background due to my academic [STRIKE]formation[/STRIKE] work and training which have allowed me to gain experience since 2009-- first with molecular techniques at the Molecular Toxicology and Genetics Laboratory and then with molecular, immunohistochemistry, physiology and fluorescence techniques at the Comparative Neuroendocrinology Laboratory. I have also worked with people from different disciplines such as physics, engineering, veterinary science, and psychology. This has allowed me to acquire and broaden my research, teamwork, problem-solving and communication skills.

I [STRIKE]hope to complement[/STRIKE] aspire to enhance my understanding of the neural plasticity and how cellular networks interact. I [STRIKE]look forward that my[/STRIKE] believe undertaking a doctoral [STRIKE]training[/STRIKE] project would help me understand how these networks are built and the factors involved.

Yours faithfully,

Toni Gomez

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