Can someone please check my letter?

[Marijus]

Hello, everyone. Today I'm sending this letter to British Council and want to make sure it's written correctly. Thanks for your attention.


Dear Sir or Madam,

I'm writing you this e-mail in order to ask for confirmation whether you have recieved my payment for IELTS exam on July 18th. We made bank transfer on June 17th just before sending requested documents, although I didn't receive any message that confirms received payment.


Sincerely,


Marijus ****** (hidden on purpose)

 

[Benedictuss]

Hello, everyone. Today I'm sending this letter to British Council and want to make sure it's written correctly. Thanks for your attention.


Dear Sir or Madam,

I'm writing you this e-mail in order to ask for confirmation whether you have recieved my payment for IELTS exam on July 18th. We made bank transfer on June 17th just before sending requested documents, although I didn't receive any message that confirms received payment.


Sincerely,


Marijus ****** (hidden on purpose)

1. It's better to avoid apostrophes in a formal letter, you should use the longer form, so instead of 'I'm' write 'I am', and instead of 'didn't', use 'did not'.
2. If you don't know the name of the person, end your letter with: Yours faithfully,
3. I am writing TO you in order to... (I think 'e-mail' is unnecessary)
4. We HAVE made A bank transfer...sending the documents requested
5. have not received a payment response yet.

I'm not sure that all of my advices are correct, since I'm not a native speaker. But I hope I could help you.