can anyone point out mistakes

[adnanmushtaq]

In the history of great nations, few days are really significant. Similarly the day of 23rd march has great importance for every human being of sub-continent ASIA. On this specific day not only the resolution of sub-continent was presented but it was also the first step towards the foundation of Pakistan and India. In this resolution the concept of free sovereign state was made where every individual would be at liberty to live his life according to his will and religion. Laws were supposed to be made according to their social and political principles. But unfortunately concept of resolution of sovereign state was totally different with respect to current concepts and affairs. Now the inhabitants of these societies are realising that they are leading their lives where fundamental protection is well far, there is not even availability of prosperous life.

 

[White Hat]

In the history of great nations, CERTAIN days are really significant. Similarly the day of March 23 has great importance for every INHABITANT (=RESIDENT) of subcontinent Asia. On this specific day, not only the resolution of THE subcontinent was presented (DECLARED) but it was also the first step towards the foundation of Pakistan and India. In this resolution, the concept of A free sovereign state was LAID DOWN, where every individual would be at liberty to live his life according to his will and religion. Laws were supposed to be made according to their social and political principles. But, unfortunately, the concept of A resolution FOR A sovereign state HAS A HAD A TOTALLY DIFFERENT EFFECT IN LIGHT OF current concepts and affairs. The CITIZENS of these societies are realizing that they are leading their lives where fundamental protection is well far, there is not even availability of prosperous life.
(The CITIZENS of these societies are realizing that, DESPITE FUNDAMENTAL PROTECTION BEING IN PLACE, MOST PEOPLE CAN ONLY HOPE FOR PROSPERITY IN THEIR LIVES)

I didn't grasp the purport of the parts in bold. Please let us know what you mean.

 

[adnanmushtaq]

Actually, i tried to put down a comprehensive my judgement when British East India company and British empire or reign was finished and a resolution was brought in front for the division of Pakistan and India. after 64 years the result are well far away from the concepts which were laid down in that resolution.

 

[White Hat]

As you can see, lengthy things don't attract people. I don't even know how you're going to get help. Perhaps try to break your texts down into smaller parts and post them on different sites. I did this with my video and got some results. Good luck.

 

[Hedwig]

In the history of great nations, few days are really significant. [STRIKE]Similarly the day of [/STRIKE]The 23rd March has great importance for every [STRIKE]human being [/STRIKE] person of the Asian sub-continent [STRIKE]ASIA[/STRIKE]. On this specific day not only was the resolution of the sub-continent [STRIKE]was [/STRIKE]presented but [STRIKE]it was also [/STRIKE]the first step was also taken towards the foundation of Pakistan and India. In this resolution, the concept of a free sovereign state was made where every individual would be at liberty to live his life according to his will and religion. Laws were supposed to be made according to (in accordance with) their (the people's?) social and political principles. But unfortunately the concept [STRIKE]of resolution [/STRIKE]of a sovereign state was totally different with respect to current concepts and affairs. Now the inhabitants of these societies are realising that they are leading their lives where fundamental protection is well far, there is not even availability of prosperous life. (...leading their lives in a country/society/state where fundamental/basic protection is missing/inexistent/weak and there isn't much chance of prosperity.)

NOT A TEACHER

I made some suggestions above.
I still don't like certain things, such as 'resolution' being presented, 'the concept...was made' or 'current concepts and affairs', but I'm not sure if they're wrong or how they could be improved.
Try a re-write using my suggestions, if you think they work better, and maybe we can follow up from there.