[Essay] can anyone please review these Sentence

[tks499]

Can anyone please correct the below paragraph


I would like to suggest that if we have part from the company Newsletter, so we can utilize this part to announce any new hires in the company by giving a brief summary about them which include their education, experience, job title, department and unit, and any hobbies if they have. The purpose of this is to introduce the new hire to the company employees.

 

[TheParser]

Can anyone please correct the below paragraph


I would like to suggest that if we have part from the company Newsletter, so we can utilize this part to announce any new hires in the company by giving a brief summary about them which include their education, experience, job title, department and unit, and any hobbies if they have. The purpose of this is to introduce the new hire to the company employees.

I would like to suggest that we use a section of the Newsletter to announce any new hires. We could use this opportunity to give a brief description of each person: educational background, career experience, hobbies, and their company particulars (job title, department, and unit). This would help current employees to become better acquainted with their new colleagues.

 

[tedtmc]

I would like to suggest that we use a section of the Newsletter to announce any new hires. We could use this opportunity to give a brief description of each person: educational background, career experience, hobbies, and their company particulars (job title, department, and unit). This would help current employees[STRIKE] to [/STRIKE]become better acquainted with their new colleagues.

Hires? Or new staff/recruits?

 

[tedtmc]

(1) hires/ new staff. (I wouldn't use "recruits.")

(2) After "help," you may use the -to infinitive or the bare infinitive:

I will help you to study./ I will help you study.

Parser
I know recruits tend to be associated with the armed forces or the police but recruits can also mean new staff employed by any organization.

I agree that 'to' can be left as it is but is usually omitted.

 

[tks499]

thank you a lot for your assistance and support. Wish you all the best.

How do you find my English writing??