Can anyone help me to edit this email?

[Miner123]

Dear Sir/Madam,
This is to request an exemption from English proficiency testing. I am an international student has been studied in Canada since 2012 for almost four years. And I do believe my English language skill fully satisfies the requirement from *** University.
First of all, I have strong passion about learning English language. When I first time had a class in high school, I was confused with everything. After that, I have been trying to improve my English and work hard all the time. In order to improve my skills, I read lots of books and listen to the radios. And I finally got A- for College English course through my efforts in winter 2015 term.
Secondly, the ESLEO course I took in 2014 can be considered as grade 10 English. According to the Ontario Curriculum Grade 9-12, the student who finishes the ESLEO can choose to take either ENG3U/3C or ENG4U/4C.
Lastly, I have an abundance of volunteer and working experiences to prove my English skills. I volunteered for Heart and Stroke Foundation and Toronto Black Film Festival before. I also went to work at Tim Horton’s and food court during my spare time. I never had any language burden with my colleagues and got along with them very well.
I would appreciate your response and thanks for taking time on my request.
Sincerely,
*****

 

[teechar]

Dear Sir/Madam,
[STRIKE]This is to request an exemption[/STRIKE] I wish to be exempt from the English proficiency testing requirement. I am an international student, [STRIKE]has been studied[/STRIKE] and I've been studying in Canada since 2012. [STRIKE]for almost four years. And I do[/STRIKE] I believe my English language skill fully satisfies the requirement [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] for admission into *** University.

First of all, I have always had a strong passion [STRIKE]about[/STRIKE] for learning English. [STRIKE]language. When I first time had a class in high school, I was confused with everything. After that, I have been trying to improve my English and work hard all the time.[/STRIKE] In order to improve my skills, I have read lots of books in English and listened regularly to the radio ever since coming to Canada. [STRIKE]And I finally got[/STRIKE] I've also managed to get A- [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] in my College English course [STRIKE]through my efforts[/STRIKE] in the 2015 winter [STRIKE]2015[/STRIKE] term.

Secondly, the ESLEO course I took in 2014 can be considered as equivalent to grade-10 English. According to the Ontario Curriculum, Grades 9-12, [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a student who finishes the ESLEO can choose to take either ENG3U/3C or ENG4U/4C.

[STRIKE]Lastly,[/STRIKE] Finally, I wish to point out that I have an [STRIKE]abundance of[/STRIKE] much volunteer and working experience to prove my English skills. I have volunteered for the Heart and Stroke Foundation and the Toronto Black Film Festival. [STRIKE]before.[/STRIKE] I have also [STRIKE]went to[/STRIKE] worked at Tim Horton’s and in a local food court during my spare time. I've never had any language difficulties when communicating [STRIKE]burden[/STRIKE] with my colleagues, and I always get along with them very well.

I [STRIKE]would[/STRIKE] appreciate your [STRIKE]response and thanks for[/STRIKE] taking time [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] to consider my request, and I look forward to your response.


Yours sincerely,

*****

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[emsr2d2]

No offence, but the number of errors in your post indicate that you probably do need to take the English proficiency test that you are trying to avoid.