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If you have time, please review my transcript on the BBC 6-Minute English: 'Building rapport with others'. (Note: the transcript is based on the subtitles.) (The subtitles were not perfect, so I took the dictation to make a better one.)
[Narrator: 6-Minute English, from BBCLearningEnglish.com]
Neil
Hello. This is 6-Minute English from BBC Learning English. I’m Neil.
Georgina
And I’m Georgina.
Neil
Georgina and I have got to know each other very well after working together for so long.
Georgina
I know what sandwiches Neil has for lunch- egg and tomato right, Neil?
Neil
Right! And I know it really annoys Georgina when people don’t wash up their cups in the staff kitchen.
Georgina
So unhygienic!
Neil
But just as important as getting to know someone, socially or at work, is getting on with people. To get on with someone is a useful phrasal verb, meaning to like someone and enjoy a friendly relationship with them.
Georgina
Which is really important if you work with them every day!
Neil
And there’s another word to describe the good understanding and communication between two friends: rapport.
Georgina
Yes, how you build rapport and get on with people has been the subject of many self-help books over the years, and is the topic of this programme.
Neil
Well, you and I must have great rapport, Georgina, because that leads perfectly into my quiz question. In 1936, American writer Dale Carnegie wrote a famous self-help book on building rapport. It sold over 30 million copies, making it one of the best-selling books of all time – but what was it called? Is it:
a) How to get rich quick.
b) How to stop worrying and make friends.
or c) How to win friends and influence people.
Georgina
Um, I think I know this, Neil. I’m going to say, c) How to win friends and influence people.
Neil
OK, Georgina, we’ll find out if that’s right at the end of the programme.
Georgina
When it comes to getting on with people, psychologist Emily Alison has a few ideas. She’s built a career working with the police as they build rapport with criminal suspects.
Neil
Emily is the author of the new book: ‘Rapport: the four ways to read people’, and she told BBC Radio 4 programme ‘All In The Mind’ it isn’t easy to get along with everyone:
Emily Alison
I often describe rapport-building in relationships is, er, like walking a tightrope because you really do need to maintain that balance of being objective, treating people with compassion, but that doesn’t mean I’m sympathetic, I’m collusive – it’s that balance between judgement and avoidance.
Georgina
Emily describes rapport building as like walking a tightrope, an idiom to describe being in a difficult situation which requires carefully considering what to do.
Neil
Building rapport with terrorists or violent criminals isn’t easy. Emily doesn’t sympathise with what they have done, but she tries to remain objective - to base her judgement on the facts, not personal feelings.
Georgina
In her book, Emily identifies four main communication styles which she names after animals. The best at building rapport is the friendly and cooperative monkey.
Neil
Then there’s a pair of opposites: the bossy lion, who wants to take charge and control things, and the more passive mouse.
Georgina
Here’s Emily talking to BBC Radio 4’s ‘All In The Mind’ about the fourth animal, the T-Rex. Try to listen out for the communication style of this personality:
Emily Alison
You’ve got the T-Rex, which is conflict, so this is argument, whether you’re approaching it from a positive position where you can be direct, frank about your message or you approach that in a negative way by being... attacking, judgemental, argumentative, sarcastic, and that actually breeds the same behaviour back. So anyone who has teenagers will 100% recognise that (laugh). If you meet sarcasm with sarcasm, it’s only gonna go one way.
Neil
All four communication styles have good and bad points. On the positive side, T-Rex type people are frank – they express themselves in an open, honest way.
Georgina
But T-Rex types can also be sarcastic - say the opposite of what they really mean, in order to hurt someone’s feelings or criticise them in a funny way.
Neil
Yes, ‘sarcasm’ is a strange thing - like saying, “Oh, I really like your haircut”, when in fact you don’t!
Georgina
Yes. There’s an English saying that sarcasm is the lowest form of humour, but I think British people can be quite sarcastic at times.
Neil
Well, I can’t image you’d make any friends being rude to people. Maybe they should read Dale Carnegie’s self-help book.
Georgina
Ah yes, your quiz question, Neil. Was my answer right?
Neil
In my quiz question I asked Georgina for the title of Dale Carnegie’s best-selling self-help book about building rapport. What did you say?
Georgina
I said the book is called, c) How to win friends and influence people.
Neil
Which is… the correct answer! And I guess you’ve read it, Georgina, because you have lots of friends.
Georgina
I hope you’re not being sarcastic, Neil!
Neil
Absolutely not! I’m not a sarcastic T-Rex type, more of a friendly monkey!
Georgina
OK, well, let’s stay friends and recap the vocabulary from this programme, starting with ‘rapport’ - a good feeling between two people based on understanding and communication.
Neil
If you ‘get on with someone’, you like and enjoy a friendly relationship with them.
Georgina
‘Walking a tightrope’ means to be in a difficult situation which requires careful consideration of what to do.
Neil
‘To be objective’ is to base your actions on facts rather than personal feelings.
Georgina
When ‘building rapport with someone’, it’s good to be frank – to express yourself in an open, honest way.
Neil
But not ‘sarcastic’ – to say the opposite of what you really mean, in order to hurt someone’s feelings or criticise them in a humorous way.
Georgina
Well, Neil, if we run over six minutes we’ll break our rapport with the 6-Minute English producer, so that’s all for this programme! Join us again soon for more trending topics and useful vocabulary.
Neil
And remember to download the BBC Learning English app and stay friends by following us on social media. Bye for now!
Georgina
Bye!
[Narrator: 6-Minute English, from the BBC]
[Narrator: 6-Minute English, from BBCLearningEnglish.com]
Neil
Hello. This is 6-Minute English from BBC Learning English. I’m Neil.
Georgina
And I’m Georgina.
Neil
Georgina and I have got to know each other very well after working together for so long.
Georgina
I know what sandwiches Neil has for lunch- egg and tomato right, Neil?
Neil
Right! And I know it really annoys Georgina when people don’t wash up their cups in the staff kitchen.
Georgina
So unhygienic!
Neil
But just as important as getting to know someone, socially or at work, is getting on with people. To get on with someone is a useful phrasal verb, meaning to like someone and enjoy a friendly relationship with them.
Georgina
Which is really important if you work with them every day!
Neil
And there’s another word to describe the good understanding and communication between two friends: rapport.
Georgina
Yes, how you build rapport and get on with people has been the subject of many self-help books over the years, and is the topic of this programme.
Neil
Well, you and I must have great rapport, Georgina, because that leads perfectly into my quiz question. In 1936, American writer Dale Carnegie wrote a famous self-help book on building rapport. It sold over 30 million copies, making it one of the best-selling books of all time – but what was it called? Is it:
a) How to get rich quick.
b) How to stop worrying and make friends.
or c) How to win friends and influence people.
Georgina
Um, I think I know this, Neil. I’m going to say, c) How to win friends and influence people.
Neil
OK, Georgina, we’ll find out if that’s right at the end of the programme.
Georgina
When it comes to getting on with people, psychologist Emily Alison has a few ideas. She’s built a career working with the police as they build rapport with criminal suspects.
Neil
Emily is the author of the new book: ‘Rapport: the four ways to read people’, and she told BBC Radio 4 programme ‘All In The Mind’ it isn’t easy to get along with everyone:
Emily Alison
I often describe rapport-building in relationships is, er, like walking a tightrope because you really do need to maintain that balance of being objective, treating people with compassion, but that doesn’t mean I’m sympathetic, I’m collusive – it’s that balance between judgement and avoidance.
Georgina
Emily describes rapport building as like walking a tightrope, an idiom to describe being in a difficult situation which requires carefully considering what to do.
Neil
Building rapport with terrorists or violent criminals isn’t easy. Emily doesn’t sympathise with what they have done, but she tries to remain objective - to base her judgement on the facts, not personal feelings.
Georgina
In her book, Emily identifies four main communication styles which she names after animals. The best at building rapport is the friendly and cooperative monkey.
Neil
Then there’s a pair of opposites: the bossy lion, who wants to take charge and control things, and the more passive mouse.
Georgina
Here’s Emily talking to BBC Radio 4’s ‘All In The Mind’ about the fourth animal, the T-Rex. Try to listen out for the communication style of this personality:
Emily Alison
You’ve got the T-Rex, which is conflict, so this is argument, whether you’re approaching it from a positive position where you can be direct, frank about your message or you approach that in a negative way by being... attacking, judgemental, argumentative, sarcastic, and that actually breeds the same behaviour back. So anyone who has teenagers will 100% recognise that (laugh). If you meet sarcasm with sarcasm, it’s only gonna go one way.
Neil
All four communication styles have good and bad points. On the positive side, T-Rex type people are frank – they express themselves in an open, honest way.
Georgina
But T-Rex types can also be sarcastic - say the opposite of what they really mean, in order to hurt someone’s feelings or criticise them in a funny way.
Neil
Yes, ‘sarcasm’ is a strange thing - like saying, “Oh, I really like your haircut”, when in fact you don’t!
Georgina
Yes. There’s an English saying that sarcasm is the lowest form of humour, but I think British people can be quite sarcastic at times.
Neil
Well, I can’t image you’d make any friends being rude to people. Maybe they should read Dale Carnegie’s self-help book.
Georgina
Ah yes, your quiz question, Neil. Was my answer right?
Neil
In my quiz question I asked Georgina for the title of Dale Carnegie’s best-selling self-help book about building rapport. What did you say?
Georgina
I said the book is called, c) How to win friends and influence people.
Neil
Which is… the correct answer! And I guess you’ve read it, Georgina, because you have lots of friends.
Georgina
I hope you’re not being sarcastic, Neil!
Neil
Absolutely not! I’m not a sarcastic T-Rex type, more of a friendly monkey!
Georgina
OK, well, let’s stay friends and recap the vocabulary from this programme, starting with ‘rapport’ - a good feeling between two people based on understanding and communication.
Neil
If you ‘get on with someone’, you like and enjoy a friendly relationship with them.
Georgina
‘Walking a tightrope’ means to be in a difficult situation which requires careful consideration of what to do.
Neil
‘To be objective’ is to base your actions on facts rather than personal feelings.
Georgina
When ‘building rapport with someone’, it’s good to be frank – to express yourself in an open, honest way.
Neil
But not ‘sarcastic’ – to say the opposite of what you really mean, in order to hurt someone’s feelings or criticise them in a humorous way.
Georgina
Well, Neil, if we run over six minutes we’ll break our rapport with the 6-Minute English producer, so that’s all for this programme! Join us again soon for more trending topics and useful vocabulary.
Neil
And remember to download the BBC Learning English app and stay friends by following us on social media. Bye for now!
Georgina
Bye!
[Narrator: 6-Minute English, from the BBC]
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