break up lyrics

[Dominik92]

Hello all.

Last year I broke up with my girlfriend, but later realized it was a mistake. By that time she found a new boyfriend and I was rejected. Haven't recovered from that yet. Therefore, I am trying to get it out of my mind by putting my feelings down. How would you rate the following? Doing it just "for fun" and....you know Could you, plese, correct any mistakes?

Never felt worse in my life, it's just memories keeping me alive
Nothing helping me much, still feeling the severe pain in my heart

Brain telling me there is no reason to cry one's eyes out, yet my heart is still falling apart
Given it plenty reasons to know better, it is still acting as a kiddo

I get whispers I am living in vain,
To get rid of all that pain is just not that plain

Maybe one day, when time heals all the wounds ,
I will no longer carry burdens on my soul

Is there really an end to all of it?
Maybe a pill of drug would help,
Is there anything like that?

Every night I wallow in self-pity,
even though I know there is no point in it.

There is no coming back, no light in the darkness,
No shallow emotions, just those causin' frightful pain

Is there really an end to all of it?
Maybe a pill of drug would help,
If only there was something like that.

My heart falling apart ever since,
how many pieces it got left?

Hey boy, you are running out of time
Don't give up, give it one last try

 

[Nicolle]

I know what are you talking about, not so long time ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I am ok now, but it was so hard to overcome for the first month. But.. what doesn't kill us.. ) hope so

 

[Tarheel]

I know what are you talking about. Not long ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I am OK now, but it was hard for the first month. But.. what doesn't kill us.. ) hope so

The expression is What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. (I've never understood that one.)

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

I tried to get back with her, but she had a new boyfriend, and I was rejected.

Your song starts off rhyming, then something happens.
:-?

 

[emsr2d2]

Hello all.

Last year I broke up with my girlfriend, but later realized it was a mistake. By that time, she had found a new boyfriend and [STRIKE]I was rejected[/STRIKE] it was too late to get back together with her. I haven't recovered from that yet. [STRIKE]Therefore,[/STRIKE] I am trying to get it out of my mind by putting my feelings down. How would you rate the following? I'm doing it just "for fun" and....you know Could you (no comma here) please (no comma here) correct any mistakes?

Never felt worse in my life, it's just memories keeping me alive
Nothing helping me much, still feeling the severe pain in my heart

Brain telling me there is no reason to cry [STRIKE]one's[/STRIKE] my eyes out, yet my heart is still falling apart
Given it plenty reasons to know better, it is still acting as a kiddo (I have no idea what the blue part means)

I get whispers I am living in vain,
To get rid of all that pain is just not that plain

Maybe one day, when time heals all the wounds ,
I will no longer carry burdens [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] in my soul

Is there really an end to all of it?
Maybe a pill of drug would help,
Is there anything like that?

Every night I wallow in self-pity,
even though I know there is no point in it.

There is no coming back, no light in the darkness,
No shallow emotions, just those causin' frightful pain

Is there really an end to all of it?
Maybe a pill of drug would help,
If only there was something like that.

My heart's [STRIKE]falling[/STRIKE] fallen apart ever since,
How many pieces [STRIKE]it[/STRIKE] I got left?

Hey boy, you are running out of time
Don't give up, give it one last try

It's really not possible to correct "mistakes" in song lyrics. They don't have to be grammatical and they don't have to rhyme (although it does seem strange if some lines rhyme but others don't). Just write it from the heart. Having said that, I've made some suggested changes above in red, and I've queried one line.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

Is there oh is there a pill for the the pain?
Nothing left to lose, and nothing left to gain.

And:

I don't want to end up on the street
With no shoes on my feet.

:up:

 

[Tarheel]

And:

Wo-wo-wo-wo-o-o'o!